Adrian Hales went from military discipline and professional rugby to a profound awakening that transformed his entire life. In this episode, he shares the pivotal moments and inner work that led him to healing, wholeness, and his true self.
He spent years as a soldier and rugby warrior… until one moment of awakening shattered everything he thought he knew about himself.
What followed was a journey from discipline and hyper-masculinity into intuition, healing, and profound inner freedom.
In this episode of The Deep Coach, Adrian Hales shares the pivotal moments that transformed his life—from questioning everything while standing knee-deep in cold mud, to a heart-opening awakening that turned his inner world from black-and-white into technicolor.
We explore:
🔗 Connect with Adrian:
===
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: [00:00:00] that was my first awakening. And at that point I got home and I'm like, the world started to be very different. I started to feel different. It was like I'd lived my life on in black and white. And then all of a sudden there was this technicolor where I could like kind of move the pieces around.
It was like I was swimming in this, and I just started to notice like this voice, this inner voice talking to me and this intuition go here, don't go there. And it was like, wow. And I was like, whoa, what is this? And I felt very different.
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: Adrian, it is an absolute pleasure to be connected here with you, and as this is a podcast where we're really trying to understand the transformational journeys of those that come on as guests. How would you describe Adrian Hale's prior to the onset of your own transformational?
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: It's a really interesting, um, question actually, and I love that you've, uh, brought that into the conversation. Jonathan, it's great to be connected to you today and, and have this conversation. [00:01:00] I think one of my coaches described me once as a bull in a China shop. You know, and, and obviously my background is, is the military and rugby. So it's, it's, it's very masculine. It's about, you know, forward motion. It's about breakthroughs. Uh, it's about, you know, doing stuff but disregarding how you feel perhaps about things. It's just about the warrior type mindset. So that was very much me. Um, and that was driven. Life was driven a lot by fear, um, and getting stuff done.
And I never really connected to my body. Never really felt n never really felt what it felt like to be home. Every time that I came back home and I felt that love, I felt that presence that, that wellbeing within, I didn't even allow myself to get to that feeling. If I started to feel that presence, I would see that as boredom or, or, or not good. And that would then get me to take more action. So I would say I was [00:02:00] very unconscious in how I was doing stuff. I was. Shining a light on what success means to, to the, to society. So chasing that version of success, that probably wasn't even mine. I didn't even fully know myself, um, because I hadn't done the, the inner work, the deeper work. Uh, so, so life was just constantly like boom, bust cycles, like taking action, then recovering. So I didn't really know myself and I wasn't willing to feel myself as well, like really feel that, essence of what home feels like. Um, so that's, you know, that's really, and, and there's, there's a wonderful picture of, uh, a lady that brought me up when I was younger. She was like my nanny. And there was, I was speaking to my wife about this the other day and there was a picture of me climbing a, um, climbing frame. And it was, she said [00:03:00] that I was, had no fear whatsoever. And there was a picture of me looking down the camera, but I was climbing this climbing frame of like two years old, like really high up. So there was a fearlessness there. But what I didn't realize until someone pointed out to me is that actually they were under me to catch me. So they were that supportive place to come back home. So yes, whilst I was being fearless, still, they, they were my home to fall into if I fell off the climbing frame. So Adrian Pretation was just fearless, but without my own home to catch me.
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: Powerful image, powerful image. Speaking of being, you know, last, last time we spoke, we spoke a little bit about male culture in the uk and you know, what, what some young boys guys go through. What, what was it like? You, you mentioned you, you kind of grew up in a hyper masculine environment, you know, rugby, eventually the military.
What did you, as a young man, what were you internalizing? [00:04:00] How did your relationship, you know, you mentioned holding back emotions or not being able to feel your body. Can you describe a little bit about what it was like to be Adrian internally in that environment that you grew up in?
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: Yeah, there was no self-expression. It was like there were very, you know, clearly defined rules. You know, the culture was clearly defined. So, you know, to be able to speak about your feelings, speak about what's in your mind, and have a real safe place to speak about that, that didn't really exist. you, the, the purpose there was you to be a soldier, to be the best part of the soldier you could be, and then to fit into that mold in order to be highly efficient and to perform as part of a, of a unit. so obviously within that you had certain things that you had to do as a soldier. So follow orders, respect titles, um, even if you didn't feel like the leader was a good leader, because there's a lot of scope around leadership as a skill, and it's not leadership as a relationship. You can never teach [00:05:00] leadership learning skills. You can only teach leadership, learning relationships and how you relate to people. And in the military, you have to relate to people, whether you see them as a leader or not. The title, the title is the title, and you have to follow orders. So there's, there's straightaway, there's that, there's a, there's a finite way of being in a team, follow orders or don't the game or get in trouble. So there's not really those, those way, those places to speak to about how you're feeling internally. You know, and in self-expression, you, you find solace in some of your mates there and there is trust. But a lot of the time there isn't trust. When I was in many years ago, now it's, it's changed a lot. But in those times it was very difficult to, to, to kind of, to, to, to open up. So I found a lot of that. What I didn't find in, in, in, in the Army, I found that in rugby, luckily I found a sport which had looser rules. Still played for the British Army in [00:06:00] combined services. I was still in the military. But with those, you found more deeper, softer connections, um, like-minded people. It wasn't all about rank.
There was a bit more of a freedom. So that really kept me alive, um, and gave me a, a more of a sense of purpose until one day I was, it was about five in the morning and I, and this is when it all changed for me, it was about five in the morning, we got woken up and we went out into this field, um, pitch black. And in the distance I saw all of these houses. Lovely. You know, where people are turning the lights on in the morning, getting out of bed, you can see all the, the city glistening. And we were in pitch black and I was knee deep in mud in my shorts. It was freezing. And I thought to myself, what am I doing here? And that was that first question of like, where I had that realization, what actually am I doing with my life? And I think at that point, around 21 I was, then I really [00:07:00] valued, um, finding out who I was I think the military served, it served me in so many ways, but also it wasn't serving me at that point. Had lots of great things that I learned, like self-discipline, um, you know, simple things like timekeeping, timekeeping, respect for others, you know, looking at how you dress and it gives you forward motion, but overplayed it can be, become actually exhausting. So I think at that point I was like, got to leave now.
So I ended up leaving, uh, you know, the military and it, and rugby it's a little bit different because they're not so strict rules. But again, masculine environments, uh, it is about, uh, the finite success failure win losing. Um, and, and, and that, that becomes, can become exhausting energy,
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: Yeah. What initially motivated you to get into the military?
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: um, came out of school with zero qualifications. [00:08:00] I think the most, the, the, the, the award that I got at the end of school was the most kicked out of lessons.
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: I.
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: I was, I was really a rebel at heart. I was misunderstood. I was a bit of a misfit. Um, I was a bit of a black sheep. I was just a bit unconventional. And, and, and interestingly enough, that's a lot of clients I work with, people that are, that, you know, that, that kind of, that want to prove a point and take on the world. actually when I was younger, um, I excelled in sport 'cause it was my outlet, but I really didn't enjoy, um, how the, the, um, schooling was created. Um, you know, it was all a very logical, and that's not how my brain worked. It was very creative. And, um, when I was at school, I. come out with any qualifications. So I had a couple of accounts, met with a transition point uh, go and work in a warehouse. Nothing wrong with people that work in warehouses or actually make something of my life. So I [00:09:00] had to, I chose, that was, seemed like the only route to actually, you know, get me some self-discipline and, and help me actually not necessarily become a man, but a really good start off in life. So that was then five years at the end of school. And I remember, um, there was something to do with when I went for my first test for the military, there was something to do with, um, I, I, I accidentally ticked a medical form at like a, a tick box and they said, oh, you can't come in 'cause you've ticked that box. And they were like, right, we've gotta put you through loads of tests on this treadmill to make sure that you are fit. To join the military. And I was like, oh my God. I remember sitting on the stairs at home, and I, and I said to my, uh, dad, you know, I'm not gonna get in the military. What am I gonna get?
What am I gonna do? there was some divine intervention at that point, I believe. then the me, I got a phone call and the guy said, Hey, they want to put you on the test for this running test. If you pass the test, you are into the phase one [00:10:00] training. Um, so that was it, a, a decision point. Um, I kind of tested, I went for the, the test didn't quite get in.
They gave me a second go and then I passed with flying colors. And then, yeah, I was, I joined at 15 and nine months.
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: Yeah, it's incredible because there was something about you at that age that knew that you needed this environment in order to take you to the next step.
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: Yeah, the ra, the, the, now you're saying that I needed order,
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: Order. Yeah.
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: order to understand to, to some order. Yes. It might not have been too ground like I have now. You know, you ground the chaos, you know, there's a, you get to the point where you be with yourself and, and, and your whole experience. but back then, I didn't even understand where my experience was coming from.
I didn't understand thoughts or emotion sensations. I just, I was very externally focused out within, um, so I just knew that I needed some type of order. 'cause my [00:11:00] childhood had been chaos, you know, at school getting kicked out of lessons and just, you know, I didn't want the order. Then I, and then I realized I needed order and then order didn't serve me after five years.
And I wanted to, not necessarily chaos, but to come out and, and, and find out who I was, rather than someone telling me this is who I am.
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: Yeah. Yeah. And then you're coming out of the military asking these deeper questions. What, what are some where, where are some of the places you landed as you were asking these deeper questions of what do I want out of my life? Where am I, et cetera.
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: Yeah, I think at, at that point it was the, the, the question is, um, you know, the first question that started all off is, okay, what am I doing here? Like, what am I actually doing with my life? It was more like a kind of, are you actually like, a real, like covered in mud? Like, what are you actually doing with your life? And then it was just like, right, and it was, it was instantaneously. I think a, an important distinction here is when we have a personal thinking of things and we [00:12:00] intellectualize things and we try to find answers in the intellect, no, there's nothing in the intellect. But when we're in that space of home, and perhaps I was in that space of home 'cause I was covered in water, you know, knee deep in cold mud. And then I had an insight, and we all know what an insight is. It's where you're in the shower and you just get a realization, it's like a bubble bursting. The bubble comes up and both you get the insight and it's not intellectual and it's got an insight at that point. You need to, need to go and find out who you are. Um, so I didn't even have to wrestle with that. It was just like, okay, when am I gonna go in and give my notice? then, then I think within that week I went to, to give my notice and it was unquestionable. There was no, once I, once you have an insight, you can't unsee it. So then it was just unquestionable for me to, to, to move on. And yeah, really valued self-expression at that point and finding out who I was. I didn't quite know what that meant at the time. [00:13:00] But later on, I, I, I, I, I got a sense that it was something about being in teams or being with people, but not necessarily with all the constraints of the military in terms of rules and rank and all that kind of stuff, which more constrained, it was more, there was more freedom in that. But I didn't quite know the question led me on a bit of a journey, but I didn't quite know where I would end up.
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: Hmm. What were some milestones on that journey?
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: I think the, the biggest milestone is, is came out of that, that, that journey. And I remember, um, I played a high level rugby for a period of time
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: I.
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: the military I came out and I carried on playing rugby and someone rang me and said, Hey, would you like to go and play sevens rugby Fiji? And there was a, there was, there was also another choice, which was to go on tv. And there was this [00:14:00] show called, um, last Man Standing. And Last Man Standing was, uh, a show. And actually my rugby coach said, we, we think you'd be great at this. And I did a little audition and they invited me for the auditions. And funnily enough at a military camp where I, where I'd been before. So they're doing the TV in, back in the military, um, for, I think it was Channel four or something like that at the time.
I can't remember the exact TV show. And basically the, the show was they pick a team of people from different sports they go against all the tribes in, in the world, around the world. It's called the, the tribal games. They go against all these different tribes and races and combat and stuff like that. And I watched it on tv. It's really intense. then I had a choice to go and play Sevens rugby in fi. And then I went and played. I chose to go and play sevens rugby in Fiji. And at the point in time, I think [00:15:00] I came out of the military and it was a real crash landing because I don't have care, I don't have my food on the table, I don't have all of these things looked after me.
And, and for months I would still wake up with one eye open and waiting for the roll call. You know, I was already waiting to get out of bed and then I realized, oh, I'm in my bed at home. So it was a real kind of, letting go of that identity. So rugby gave me, gave me the order, but allowed me to be in the chaos a little bit as well. know, you could, you know, you could jump in and jump out. It was chaotic and orderly. I went to play sevens and I played really well, and we had a team of extraordinary players we've won a lot of games. We've also got our ass kicked because they're, they're the best nation in the world at Sevens rugby. And luckily enough, I was rooming with this guy who was playing national league at quite a high level. uh, we got on really well and I played really well. And then, and I remember this, I remember this experience. It sounds so [00:16:00] now, but before I left to go on this tour, I was working in the supermarket and I knew I had potential, I knew there was something gonna unfold beyond myself, but I couldn't quite articulate that.
But I just got a sense of it, right? And I always lived in, in hope and, and trust of, you know, what would come. And I was on the drinks aisle before I left in the supermarket, and that was a big deal. I was like the main man stacking the shells in the drinks aisle. And then to do the sevens and I came back and they put me on the dog food aisle. It sounds so funny now, but they put me on the dog food aisle and I was just, I couldn't believe it. I thought I cannot stay here anymore. They've taken me off the drinks aisle, they obviously don't think I'm good enough. Now I'm on this dog food aisle and I was working nights and the smell of dog food while you're doing it, I thought, I thought, you know, please like help me. next day I got a phone call [00:17:00] and this guy said, hi, I am, I'm from this National League team called Rugby Lions and uh, we'd like to give you a contract to come and play for us. said, well, I haven't got anywhere to live, you know? And he said, well, we've given you a free flat to live in, we're gonna give you a free place and we're gonna pay you and then also we'll help you find a job as well. Um, and then the next day he came down and I signed the contract. And then I never went back to that supermarket. And that's, you know, that's when I started to play the, you know, the kind of National League rugby.
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: You, you mentioned something, uh, in passing. Please help me. Who are you speaking to in that moment?
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: I don't know at that point, but D, divine intervention, an ancestor or you know, a past relative or just, you know, just anyone really. And I suppose now I know is could even be my intuition, you know, just, know, I kind of, yes, you know, please help me out. You know, just, [00:18:00] I can't be here. This isn't where I'm supposed to end, you know?
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: Yeah,
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: And then there was a few phone calls and just, and then literally two weeks later, my dad drove me down to my flat and I started training the next day. It was just, just so surreal. If you just asked for help and kind of let go, um, then things just naturally come and wait and wait in an expectancy of something happening,
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: yeah.
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: turns up. That's which is beyond what you think it's gonna be. And I suppose now I probably know what that is, you know, but back then it was just, you know, you see people praying, don't you, when you were a kid. So you, you know, praying or, whatever it is. And then I suppose back then I was just trusting something that was, was me, that was, but was beyond myself not really knowing, uh, I suppose like, like a last, last ditch attempt.
What I've, what I've been doing has not [00:19:00] worked. So offering it up to something that knows me more than I know myself and just see what happens. Yeah. And then, yeah, and I just remember signing that contract the next day. Just, yeah, it was just like, wow. And I knew, I knew I was for something beyond what I was doing,
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: Hmm.
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: that was confirmation of that.
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: So were you, in that moment, were you aware of the sort of cause and effect of, you know, help me and then Boof life showed up? Was that a, did you clock that in the back of your mind, or it just kind of went passing?
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: I, I wasn't, I wasn't, uh, aware of how you created it or how you put it with cause and effect. I am now you're saying that, but at time I thought it was me doing it, you know, I thought, and that's true. There's a kind of, a duality in, in that. There's a, there's a, but that time I thought to myself,
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: Yeah.
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: that, oh no, this is just a skill that I've learned myself.
You know, [00:20:00] these things happen, but it's me doing it
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: Yeah.
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: rather than us doing it, perhaps.
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: Yeah.
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: I didn't yet understand duality, you know, non-dualism and, and non-duality and something beyond myself. It was more about, you know, Adrian's doing this. Okay.
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: so there's a bit of a realization that on the external, Hey, this, isn't it the military, this, isn't it the dog food aisle. This isn't it. You know, these these different things. This isn't it. At what point did you start, did the internal of, you know, internally, who am I? Who am I becoming begin because there's external happenings.
What about on the internal side? What's happening during this time?
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: Hmm. I wasn't consciously aware back then. I was unconscious to that. I was very much unconscious to that for a long period of time. Even, you know, when I played rugby, I, I [00:21:00] worked in sales, um, as a sales manager. I worked for this company. I, I'm aware of all those transitions, but I always thought they were external transitions. I always thought they were me doing it. And there's a, there's a, a truth in that, but I thought it was solely me doing it. And then there's these external transitions that I were going, that I was going through, and there were, there were transitions where I suppose, where I was on purpose and I was off purpose. And then if I went too far off purpose, I felt like the transition, um, naturally came in where I had a transition point, um, where I wasn't totally aware of where my experience was coming from.
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: Hmm.
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: I always thought that for a large portion of my life, my exp you know, the, of it being inside out, I always thought it was outside in so sneaky.
That is that, that thing, and I, I'm aware now of. [00:22:00] the world through that, but you c so easy to get pulled back in to they to that, you know, thinking that the world is out here rather than within. Um, so the answer to your, the question is like, I first saw the inner inner workings of the, the world, and this is only a glimpse, um, I was working in this, I was working in this, uh, role and I was like an area sales type manager. And at the time, um, my boss went away on, on some leave for a period of time like six months. And I was to take over and all I did was be with people, understand them, coach them, and just really inspire them, you know, just to move them forward.
Because in my experience, they'd been really downtrodden. Up until [00:23:00] that point that their morale was low. So I just learned all the things I'd learned from rugby and the military and a little bit of NLP as well, which I learned in, in when I was coaching my teams. and that was, learning the NLP was the first time I started to, to know that, oh, hold in a minute.
I've got an internal representation, beliefs, values, and thoughts and feelings. there must, you know, I started to, to realize that there was an inner world. That was the first part. started to ask questions and I felt different and other people responded different. So that's when I started to shift for me. And, and when the, when the boss who was quite critical of everybody um, performance went up, morale went up. It was just, it was such a joy. To be with people and to coach them and to challenge them. it wasn't always flavor of the month, but we did achieve some awesome things together and had a lot of compassion for people. [00:24:00] Then that boss came back and just started to criticize me and, and overshadow me. And I knew that that was an environment I couldn't stay in. I couldn't stay in that environment at that point 'cause there was too much order. Again, rigidity started to get like that. There was no flexibility or an acknowledgement or appreciation. So I handed my notice in I remember this Christmas period, started to FI didn't fully know that my experience was coming from myself. I thought my experience was coming from the job, but I'd seen glimpses of it. Okay. Um, and. I remember having this conversation with somebody, I think it was at my uncle's house, uncle's house for Christmas, and I was talking about my fears of losing my job and you know, this is what's happening and dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah. And they were saying, well, you need to document everything, make sure you doing all that stuff. And after about three weeks, I just thought, what, what am I actually doing? A [00:25:00] little bit like the literature. I thought, why am I collecting all of this stuff? Why am I doing this? I spent three weeks worrying about this, can't live life like this. And at that point it was really interesting. But I met somebody who was in coaching I was into like sales coaching type stuff. And, and they gave me a business opportunity. Um, and it was something I'd never considered before, but it was my, it was my vehicle I thought, I'm handing my notice in. So on the first of the month, I handed him my notice in. Um, and they hadn't passed my probation at that time 'cause they were being difficult with me, you know, because we got it. 'cause I wasn't fitting their mold of what I should be doing, even though performance was up. And, uh, they said, you've gotta bring all your stuff back down. So I drove back down the motorway, took me a couple of hours, and here's the shift that happens. I drove everything back, [00:26:00] put my laptop back in the head office. I said, thank you very much, um, thank you very much for the opportunity and put everything back. And then as I got back in the car, I felt this huge relief, like a huge release. And I remember driving up this motorway and I felt, I saw the sun come up I dunno what happened to me at that point, but my heart opened. Um, I just felt this. A heart opening. The heart chakra you might say, opened. I felt so much love and so much joy and it was, it was like the sun as I was driving up the motorway, as I was coming up, the sun was there going down, but it was like glistening. And I just felt this huge sense of relief and joy. And at that, that was the first waking up moment,
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: Yeah.
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: you know, many years ago. And that was my first awakening. And at that point I got home and I'm like, the world started to be very different. I started to feel [00:27:00] different. It was like I'd lived my life on in black and white. And then all of a sudden there was this technicolor where I could like kind of move the pieces around.
It was like I was swimming in this, and I just started to notice like this voice, this inner voice talking to me and this intuition go here, don't go there. And it was like, wow. And I was like, whoa, what is this? And I felt very different.
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: Yeah.
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: was very. Powerful and wonderful, but also scary. So that was the first glimpse, um, that I got. yeah.
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: It, it's uncanny. I had a almost identical experience handing in my notice, and I say it, it's still one of, it's still maybe the most euphoric feeling I've ever felt in my life. I had already decided that I was going off of my journey, but I handed in my notice and I got in my car and it was as if the heavens opened up and this an incredible, an sort of an amount of joy I had never been able to hold.
Just over time, my body, I was in [00:28:00] tears. I just felt just the sun was just shining on my face. I felt expansive. So it was an unshackling is the word that I use. It just felt like I was unshackling from the old and now the entire world was ahead of me.
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: So powerful.
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: Right. So I can hear that in your story and, and of course when the entire world is ahead of you and in front of you and in you, yeah, that can feel overwhelming.
You know, what do I do with this?
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: Yeah. It feels, it felt like, you know, what do I do with this? feels overwhelming and I almost like checking someone, put something in my drink,
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: Yeah.
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: someone puts something, I feel like I'm hallucinating here.
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: Yeah,
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: I remember looking at pictures and they were like, move still pictures were like moving and had all these different intuitions guiding me, and it was just, it was an overwhelming energy that came, that awoken in. But at that point, that was many years ago, and I'd not done the work to ground, it had nowhere to ground, it was like this pinball machine inside me, just a ding, ding, ding, ding, ding was like, I hadn't ground it in, hadn't, [00:29:00] it hadn't been a, hadn't become an expression of my being. It was something I was trying to do. I was trying to wrestle with this energy that was coming through, which is, know, it was under not understood. I had to go on a journey to try and understand my very being, so it's at the same time it's liberating, but also very, very scary
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: yeah.
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: at that point.
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: Did you have any, anybody that you confided in at the time?
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: It's really interesting you say that because at the time I didn't, I didn't know why I did this, I was, this, this uncanny thing happened, and I'll tell you the link into it. Um, I was with my brother and I said, and I was trying to wrestle with this. I was saying, this is what's happening to me. He didn't quite understand, but he kind of, I was telling him these. I was telling him these stories um, he was like, that makes sense. Like this is weird. What's happening to you? Kind of thing. [00:30:00] So I dunno. Whereas, you know, um, and I said, life is like snakes and ladders. So you go up this, you know, you go up the ladder, you make some progress, then you hit a snake and it brings you back down.
So I mean, maybe I can just see this experience as just call it life is like snakes and ladders, know, this experience I'm going through and I'm going up, going down. That's what life's like, he said. Yeah, that's a great metaphor. And then, and then I, I, I said I was in the car with him. I said, patience is a virtue. What's that like? What's patience? I dunno where it came from. Patience is a virtue. And I, I started looking and it was a seven virtues in, in the Bible. Patience is a virtue. Pato, it's called and. We were, we were driving in the car and we said, well, let's go here. Let's go to the shopping center. So it took us about an hour to get there and uh, that intuition thing started to guide me again. I'm like, what is [00:31:00] this? And he said, you go in that shop. And I thought, not going in the shop. He said, go in that shop. So I went in the shop and I walked around and then this lady slammed this massive down on this, on the, uh, on the Tilter Pay. It was a game of snakes and ladders. So I'm just like, said to my brother, get me outta here. Someone's, someone's watching me. Get me outta here. So there's a stakes and ladder on there. He's like, no way. I'm like, get me outta here. Go get, go. So this is, yeah, it just like, you know, so that's what happened. And then that evening I, I looked at a patient as a virtue, where do you learn that in church? And then I went the next day to this church called The Vineyard. It was called, it's not like, you know, sit in those kind of seats and read hymns. It was like. was like motivational content for life and messages that you can apply to life. There was no like, you have to learn the Bible, [00:32:00] you have to follow God or anything like that. It was just a space for the fight. The first time that I've ever been heard, you know, I remember this guy at the front, his name was Chris and he was the pastor and he was unbelievable. like magnetic and there was something in me that was drawn to that energy consciousness or the love or whatever, and I just, something felt like. At the time, perhaps that that was missing within me, even though I know now that's there. But at the time there was a misinterpretation of like, I need to feel that. So when the sermon finished, the sermon finished, I went down and spoke to him and he, he blessed me. And, and, and he, you know, and he put his hand on me and blessed me.
And I was like, and then I felt full. like, whoa, what is this? You know? I just felt very different. Um, and that was the first time that I had a place to kind of confide in, to kind of go into those environments. And, it's a very, very different, I didn't, I have not stayed in the church. 'cause don't, I [00:33:00] didn. Um, it was time for me to move on and obviously I live more connected to spirit now, more from that place. Um, obviously a, a value people go to the church if that works for them. At that point, I was there for a period of time and I thought, right, it's time to now move on to the next part of my journey. But that was a very profound experience and I remember at the time getting, um, prophesized by, by somebody that came through and, uh, this guy came, his name's Robbie Dawkins, I think his name is, he's from America, and he came to speak this, this place. We're not talking about a little church, we're talking about, you know. people down there and 300 people can fit up. So a big auditorium and all this stuff was happening to me at that point. Like shifts within significant shifts and serendipitous things happening, which I just couldn't explain. thought I, I thought I was not going insane, but I just never experienced the world like that. [00:34:00] And I thought, I cannot go to this. 'cause everyone said, would you like to come? Everyone's going. I thought I've gotta go, but I can't. I don't want to. I don't want anything serendipitous to happen to me, so I'm gonna sit at the back. So, no, he can't see me. I'm gonna hide behind this pillar at the back, with my friends.
And he and I put a black t-shirt on so he can't see me, and I can blend into the dark because I knew if they saw me, something would happen because that's what's been happening. it was speaking and everyone was just full of love in this place. It was just profound. Everyone was so connected. It was And then, and then at end, he started picking people up, to say, Hey, would you stand up? I've got a message for you. And then said, there's a guy at the back with a black t-shirt on. I've got a message for me. I'm like, looking at me, me. And he was like, yeah, you know, then he prophesied me. [00:35:00] And that was an even deeper experience that that point. Very profound. And then that took the ne there was another thing that not hot un opening at that point.
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: Hmm.
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: Um, yeah, it was just, yeah, that, so that was, yeah, very profound.
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: Yeah. Yeah. And, and what's happening, so are, how are you nurturing this then in, during this period? What, what, what is sort of happening then in your environment?
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: Trying to get to the gym. Just, that's the only thing I knew to, to get the gym. Um, but I, I probably wasn't, you know, I had that, that space where I could talk about what's going on and people understood from the church,
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: Sure.
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: but trying to explain that to a normal human being, uh, you know, and that's not to diminish anybody, but trying to explain it to people without people thinking, okay, someone's put something in your drink or, you know, [00:36:00] um, is very challenging.
So I was dealing with that by just going to the gym, going to the sauna, going swimming to just keep my mental wellbeing going and getting out and being with people as much as I can. Um. Getting out, being with people, putting my energy into my, my business at the time. so I, I chose to build a sales coaching business, so I was really, I'm really good at this coaching piece, whatever, wherever coaching land, its hand, lends its hand teaching just something naturally that comes to me. So at that point, I had a lot of energy. As you, as you know, this energy comes through, I've got to put it somewhere, so I'm gonna call myself a sales coach. So I just made it up. I just wrote down, I got an, I've got an invite to this networking event it said, would you like to come to the networking event?
And I said, yes, I'll go. And I just, I just pretended I was a sales coach. I had the, the ability to [00:37:00] do it, but I'd never. Done it in the real world. I just made it up. Adrian Hales the Edge. I call myself sales coach
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: Yeah.
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: and uh, I went to this event and it was a sit down lunch, you know, proper networking. sat down next to this guy and he said, what do you do? I said, I'm a sales coach. And he said, I need one of those. Can I hire you? So I ended up doing like six months sales coaching for him and his business. So it is just like follow this intuition and it leads to kind of
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: Yeah.
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: places we're here because I follow my intuition, you know, invite Leon on to do a podcast and he said, oh, Jonathan's looking for great guests.
I'll introduce you to him. So that was, we're here because of that like
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: Yeah.
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: intuition. Then ended, ended up doing six months kind of work. Um. As a part-time inside that company, uh, and very enjoyable, and I still did my kind of nutrition type coaching. It was, I [00:38:00] had like nutrition products and stuff I used to sell. And so I was doing a combination of both of those. that came to like a, a point where I had to do the next transition. Um, so I moved from that area back to, to live with my uncle in the Midlands of, which is in the center of England. And, uh, I got to this place where I needed to go and find out who I was again, like I'd felt like this whole experience was just too much for me. I need to go and find a place where no one can ever, uh. Not find me, but where I can just be completely in silence to just process what's going on, but carry on with my business. So I, I knew a, a guy who, who lived in Spain, who is, who lived in this island called Menorca. [00:39:00] And um, I was at my own court's house and I was like, I really need, I really need some help. Like, again, like help, I probably knew that there was, there was, there was, I was connected to something at that point, not, I wasn't con unconscious to your question earlier, I was more consciously aware. So I said, look, I need some help. then literally two days, no, literally within half an hour my phone rang and my friend said, would you like to come to Spain to coach rugby? We will get you a house and we'll pay you and you can carry on doing your business. I was like, yes. then I flew out to this team that was underperforming, that hadn't been in the league for a year. Um, I thought, well, I, I could, I could help them. So I was in this kind of like, if, if you imagine for a second I was in this little one bedroom flat, it's a second floor. It was overlooking this huge bay the middle of, [00:40:00] in, in Spain. It was quiet, it was winter so that it wasn't tourist months. So I had a lot of time, I had an open fire and I was in this place I got to reflect on my life. And again, a little bit like when I was in that church, I thought, if I be here, no one's gonna, no one's gonna find me. None of this. This energy's gonna not be able to get in the energy within. And this intuition and this stuff that was happening could kind of turn the noise down on it. Um. I supported this team and they won the first game and they, they started to, they beat the second in the league and we started to make progress and get team cohesion again. uh, I did a lot of reflection there in my life. So, you know, going into, going onto the cliffs and journaling, there was a, there was a, I think I created like 29 questions to find your spark or something like that. And I answered them all honestly. And then what it came out with was, essence coaching or, or a profession where I'm making a difference. [00:41:00] That's and leading and making a difference that was really clearly defined. Um, at that point I thought, okay, well I know my purpose beyond this place now, and, you know. And then I, I, I got home and I started to play this song. It's called Led Zeppelin, stairway to Heaven.
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: Yeah.
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: And I just love the song. I love it when it kicks in and it goes, oh, it's just unbelievable
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: Yeah, it's incredible.
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: dance. to dance in my pants basically in this place, in this little flat 'cause no one could see. And I was just dancing about. then I, and then intuition said, you need to look in the comments. And I thought, oh no, not, I thought we, I thought I'd found a place where you are not there. you need to look in the comments. And I thought, no, I'm not doing it. So I distracted myself and it said, look in the comments. I looked in the comments and there was this verse from the Bible in there, and I can't remember what it was, but it was seven, seven at the time. Something about seeking, God, I can't remember the exact verse.
I [00:42:00] thought, wow, that's really interesting. It was, it hit me like a laser beam. Um. Hit me. I was like, wow. Like that is profound. Told me to look in the comments. There was something there. The next minute I heard is boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. I was like, I lived on this. I lived in this place. to get to it, you had to go down this little alley, no bigger than the door entrance.
And then you go left and there's my front door. there's these dusty staircases, like really old, dusty. And you had to walk around three steps. And then there was another door which connected to the lounge, but you would never find that. You'd have to walk around. That door was knocking. And I said, and this, this is, this gives me, this is very profound, but the door was knocking.
Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. I was like, hello, who is it? And they said, oh, they, they mumbled a name. I said, hello, who is it? And they said, we need to speak to you. I opened the door and there were two, you [00:43:00] know, people from the church. I said, how can I help you? And they said, oh, we've got a Bible verse for you. And it was the, I'm getting tingles when I say it is exactly the same bible verse that I've read on the YouTube comments. And I was just like, I just said, this guy came to me and I said, can I, can I, can I just lock the door? And he talked to you. I sat outside my flat and I looked at this thing, I said, this is what's happening to me.
And he said, yeah, he's like this, you know, spirit, whatever's trying to communicate to you, it's communicating through you. And I was like, wow, this is so profound. And he then we became friends. I, I wasn't into the, going into the church piece, but we became friends. They became solace for me. And I had rugby club.
I was part of the CrossFit there. Um, and I had this, they were, they were literally the next street down and it was, you know, it was winter time and they're just living in a flat, literally 200 yards. They invited me for coffee, we chatted and stuff. So that was very, very, very profound. Um, and at that point, what happened was, [00:44:00] I, I, um. I met someone from America, and this was when I went to America a, you know, a few years before. And, um, they came over to live in Spain with me. They came to, to kind of see me and I thought there would be a relationship and love, and they quitted their job and, and actually by quitting their job and, and coming over, they then came to kind of become a coach and follow their path. Um, but it wasn't the right time at that point for me to be in a loving relationship with this woman. So we parted ways because I was still experiencing some trauma from the past. So it just got in the way of the relationship. and after, you know, a few weeks, they decided to go, back to America, the relationship didn't work.
They said, but they found their, purpose, you know, actually coming to, to find love with me, it didn't work. But they then had the courage to follow their path. And at that point [00:45:00] they, um, I realized I didn't, I didn't know how to love myself, so I couldn't love somebody else. At that point, I couldn't give love because I didn't experience love for myself. Um, at that point I, I knew that. And, and I remember they got on the plane back back and I wished them well, and they wished me well. We ended on, on good terms I remember just walking down from the airport on this big, dusty track and I thought, I just, you know, really everyone wants to be loved and they want to find love and all that kind of stuff. I thought it just, it just didn't work. Um, because I wasn't connected as I said to that love myself. And I walked along this, this whole, um, path and I said, you know, now what kind of thing? No, what now what I thought I'd, you know, I'd arrived and we could build a life and, you know, and, and life was all good. Um, and I thought, [00:46:00] I've got so long to walk now all the way back. So I hitchhiked, I put my thumb up and then somebody picked me up and I didn't share what had happened. 'cause it was, it was quite a big thing. that person then leaving, that woman then leaving, um. find love, you know, it impacted me.
And I walked along and I just said, I just, the only place I need to go is church. Obviously. Now we have coaches, we have therapy, we have these circles that you can go into, but back then it probably didn't exist as much. I went into this proper old, like medieval Spanish church, and I said, I need, I, I think I swore at the time, but I said, I need some fing help. And literally later, literally later on this, I got a message on LinkedIn of someone that wanted to connect with me, a coach. And, uh, at the time [00:47:00] I was like speaking to them and I was like breathing a lot, very heavily. And they said, Adrian, um, are you aware that you do that? Um, and they asked me a question, uh, like, um. Something like, have you experienced something in life which stops you functioning well to your optimum? And I said, yes. And they said, um, can I share something with you? And I said, yeah. And they said, you need to go to therapy at that point. So something with inside me said yes. So I flew back to the UK and started my, started my therapy journey, um, with a very profound human being who helped me a lot. We did like, you know, really deep work and then all this, this kind of like unlovable stuff started to free up, um, not good enough. All that kind of, you know, the psychological stuff you have to move through. And I was, you know, and I [00:48:00] was, at the time, I was, I went from when I moved back to the UK to sign on the welfare of the dole. And I went from, I sh I shared this with you. I went from being on the dole to traveling the world, doing leadership coaching on business class. I, at that time I was working in therapy and it was helping me huge amounts. I was able to be with people, I was able to be with myself. It was a solace that I needed to find, um, following that intuition. so then I went to, into therapy and it really helped. And then I started to do work that was really, really purposeful. So that was the, you know, that's the, thanks for asking that question. It's opened up some, some good stuff.
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: Oh, man, I, it's, I, I I, I really love going through this track of understanding the life behind the transformation because, I mean, there are so many lessons in here, so many things that we can sort of pull out. One of the things that stands out is, and tying threads for folks is, you know, some, some people decide, say, you know, maybe [00:49:00] somebody knows that they're an artist and they're like, okay, I'm gonna be an artist and pursue art.
Or, you know, I, I'm really driven by money in the pursuit of money, so I'm going to, you know, really build a business or go, you know, whatever forms somebody can go, make money and go do that. What I noticed for, for those of us that at one point. We don't have that level of clarity, but we just know this isn't it,
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: Hmm.
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: questioning life.
That is when we then enter into this conveyor belt, as I call it. Maybe it's something, another analogy is better, but like where life then starts taking over
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: Yeah.
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: in a really, really profound way.
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: Yeah.
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: And, and then, and then we are not, this is no longer our life. Life is now living through us and taking us to where it needs us to be.
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: There's a beautiful way of, beautiful way of saying it.
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: Right? And so, so each, this is what starts to happen. Then All these little synchronicities, these, these, these moments in time, the Bible verse seven, seven, the, you know, the [00:50:00] the person coming and you, and, and our mind wants to grab, hold and take control and say, oh yeah, this, this woman coming over it. This is, this is for love.
This is gonna be the thing. This is the person. But it's, there's something much greater happening behind the scenes still.
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: Yeah.
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: And at one point in time when we're on this sort of conveyor belt, on this journey, life trusting, life becomes undeniable,
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: Hmm
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: meaning all this stuff that's ha, it's clearly beyond me.
Clearly beyond me.
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: Yeah.
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: I better start listening.
And you started listening
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: Yeah.
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: and it's really powerful. Yeah,
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: It's, yeah, and it's, um. It's always there speaking to us whether we're paying attention. of the time I wasn't paying attention. So I didn't know, I didn't, I didn't understand. But then I started to understand how this thing speaking, this intuition, this spirit is speaking through me [00:51:00] and it's also connected to something beyond myself. So, you know, when you were speaking, it's like life as me, by me, and then through me,
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: that's right.
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: you know, and we go through those, those those, we go through those elements. when I've finished working in the corporate piece, because I. It was like an incubation of my talent. So I got to practice being a coach and to create workshops and deliver these things, and also certifying loads of different kind of modalities.
So over that four years, it was really a, a lot of love and, and inspiration for, you know, NLP and, and really learning that over a period of time. And then how to apply that and, and ontology as well, and neuroscience in coaching and ancient wisdom and projective coaching. So I just immersed myself in this experience, which was more about learning.
I'm just fascinated with learning about can I discover more about myself and I'm committed to facing whatever fear [00:52:00] comes through. Because I thought about this the other day actually before, is, this is coming into the podcast. It's like I'm only facing myself
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: Yeah.
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: like what I to be scared of. And you start to uncover that. it was like, how do I apply that? How do I create in the world? So a little bit like that picture when I was a kid of being fearless in the world and being bold and then a place to come home. But
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: Hmm.
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: for me that was always like me. And there's a degree of separation, as in there's me and there's a time bound element in terms of um, being bold out in the world. But now I'm coming to realize that it's always coming from home. There's not this, there's not a time. Yeah, there appears, there's time, but there's not. It's always in the present. So the boldness and the love comes from me. It's not like I'm bold out here and there's love here to catch me. It's, it, a constant, it's a constant motion.
So then I was in this corporate job and, uh, based on the work that I'd done on myself and the work that I'd done by applying, I good at what I did [00:53:00] creating Transformation. Developing leaders, um, in cultures is something that came natural to me, but on the same side, it didn't work for some corporate companies ' cause they just wanted you to do a good job and just the game and. I loved my job when I was traveling around all these different countries doing that, that role because I had freedom. There was, there was chaos and order. But then when I came into this other company, there was lots of promises that weren't delivered. And it was more about order rather than the chaos. Of course, I didn't fit the mold and we had a conversation about parting ways, and it was what's best for them, and it was what was best for me.
So we came to a mutual agreement and I moved on. and I remember this guy who came in and this will speak to, you know, your corporate kind of story as well. and perhaps you had advice as well of people that spoke to you, Hey, you know, you need to move on. Whatever this guy came to do, um, some psychometric [00:54:00] testing and he said, look, off the record, you need to turn it down a little bit.
He said, you've got high skills in, in what you are supposed to be doing, very high, but the byproduct of that, you'll, you'll annoy people because you create change too quick. So he said, you stay here and turn it down, or you leave and turn it up. So I left at that point and turned it up, and that was kind of six years ago. that was the start of self-employed as a coach like six, seven years ago. was the real, the real journey at that point.
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: Yeah, it's incredible. The, um, this journey of not it, this isn't it. This isn't it. This isn't it. Until finally landing on this is it. This is it. This is what I'm here. This was what this was all for.
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: yeah, yeah. This is what, yeah, you, it, it, it's a constant renewal
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: Yeah.
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: to go deeper into yourself and that, you know, that journey over that period of time [00:55:00] hasn't stopped. Um, when I, when I contemplate is this, it, really, I really feel that now internally. very rare that it's this external metric.
Now I really feel that within, so it becomes about, becomes about, uh, coming home like, and discovering my purpose along that period of time. So what started to happen over that period, that six year period, I created some great external results and I also, it went even deeper within, so I be, you know, it became a master of, became a master of my craft going within and then applying and constantly refining, doing that and then finding those things.
Where is this? It, isn't this it? And then following, following that. But it was more of like a kind of, the sonar is on, so the signal is on I follow it, and then the signal's crackly. Okay, this is, I [00:56:00] need to pause. Um, and then finding. Um, going at that point, going back into coaching again, getting, invested a lot of money in my own coach and people have invested a lot of money in me for me to be their coach. And I realized that in order for me to know the depth of who I am and show up as best I can in life, I need to also have a coach. also to go into the somatic experiencing world. 'cause I realized lot of trauma that I experienced in life throughout my life can be significant events. It can be insignificant events, but the body stalls that information. So I've done all the cognitive, all the emotional, the spiritual stuff, but some, there's still a nervous system piece of that,
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: Hmm.
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: the slowing down and I can feel it now actually slowing down. 'cause people used to say to me, slow down. I'm like. I [00:57:00] dunno what that means. Like slow down, like I haven't got a reference point, but now I understand.
So been very profound for me is, is number one, learning how experience works. How wisdom, how insight, how thought works, how divine consciousness works, how deeper mind works. But also to invest in twofold, my own coach. And also working with a somatic experiencing practitioner, which is more about getting the nervous system to a place. I think that's so important.
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: Hmm.
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: I thought, wow, I don't, I've done, I've woke up, I've done the work, you know, I'm spiritually aligned doing the work in my business and all that kind of stuff. And now I'm, I've arrived then started doing the somatic work. I'm like, wow, this, this nervous system started to then and shift and. For the first time I felt [00:58:00] my wholeness. And, and then I really found my purpose, which is all beings know themselves as whole and awake. And that's, and that's an infinite purpose that I show up to every day and it per permeates all different areas of my life. So that, you know, you said, is this it? And, and this is it.
Living from all beings know themselves as whole and awake, and that also includes me. So when I'm with people, my, my impact, if I am radiating that, if I'm showing up as that, if I become expression of that, other people will feel whole and awake.
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: If you were to put language on what it feels like or means to, to be and feel whole, what, what, what is that somatic experience of, of being and feeling whole?
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: I can feel it now. It's just like a [00:59:00] warmth all over my body, like a, a vibrating energy through my body. So, you know, you spoke earlier about how that inner experience, it was always cognitive for me, like stories or cogni cognition, but now when I feel whole, um, I feel like a sensation of vibrating energy.
Like can feel my whole body as I'm talking to you. So I'm talking to you now, feeling my whole body and the aliveness, the sensations of aliveness and the warmth in that body and, and the love the being that's, that's there.
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: Yeah.
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: is. And I can feel then the vibrations as I'm talking to you. I can, and I'm also consciously aware of the whole room and everything within it.
So I'm, I'm awake and I feel my feel that body. Whereas before in my awakening journey, I was just awake, but I'd never felt the body.
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: Yeah.
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: So it's like the wholeness and the awakeness. And then, you know, that that doesn't necessarily mean when I show up with people. Some people are gonna feel [01:00:00] that and get inspired, and then sometimes it might trigger people. So, you know, it's, I think that's the trade off is that sometimes when I show up as this, some people will, will, um, connect to my wifi and they'll feel like inspired it, help them move to higher ground. Or some people, you know, um, will react to that. But that used to really affect me when I didn't know my purpose because it was always, it was always I show up and I transform and some people like me, some people don't like me. Um, and then I've got in my personality about it start to become about poor old little me. Am I good enough? Whatever. I have a purpose that transcends that.
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: Yeah.
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: what falls into that is that if someone responds to that. Or if someone doesn't respond to that, it doesn't matter. It doesn't mean anything about me. 'cause I'm fulfilling on, uh, a greater purpose.
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: How did the, how does the triggering someone feeling triggered by [01:01:00] your wholeness, how does that show up?
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: So yeah, if you ask a, if you ask a question in the conversation and someone reacts to it, you know, if the, if the intention is to, is they're al already whole and awake, but right now they're unconscious to that,
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: yeah.
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: you ask a question to wake them up to that. And then there's, there's, there's either people that go, oh my God, I've never saw that before.
And then there's a shift. It's like, um, Benjamin Zander says, you know, when I'm, when I'm filling my purpose, they're shining eyes. Then he gets asked, the question is, who am I being that my, my orchestra's eyes aren't shining. So there's sometimes the, the eyes shine get, are awake and it's a combination of [01:02:00] acknowledgement and the same as the climbing frame. Um, getting them a place of having no fear whatsoever. That requires me helping pick apart unearth the, the, the, the, um, the personal thinking, the psychology to get them to connect. wholeness. And then, you know, as you know, that's challenging to look, someone mirror that back to you. So some people are either neutral and they want to change.
They go, okay, tell me more. And you kind of, you contemplate and you're present and you disrupt and you, you kind of go on a journey together and they, they make a little bit of progress and you're like, wow, okay, cool. Maybe it's not full like holding awake yet, but they're, they're making progress. Or then there's people that are in that place and you reflect back and there's insights and they go deeper and they go breadth and depth and they, it's like inspiring. Then you might do that to people that are completely unconscious and they're not, they're not ready yet to, to hear that, but maybe their, their wholeness feels it, but their, their personal unconscious thinking just [01:03:00] reacts to it or gets annoyed or whatever.
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: Yeah.
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: then you can just wish them well and, and, and know that tomorrow they could have an intuition that changed their life, but they're just, they're not on that, they're not there yet.
Maybe they have more healing to do or.
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: Hmm.
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: have a journey to go on themselves and to make you make peace with that and, and to move on.
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: Yeah.
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: I suppose there is a, there is a cost as well, a literal cost, but we're being bold with people, 'cause we're standing for their greatness and probably no one has ever stood for their greatness and we're doing that. Some people are going to step into that. Some people are gonna react to that and some people might not like, might not like me,
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: Hmm,
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: or get annoyed with me. Um, but Jim Carey said, and I love this quote, he says, you know, when we create ourselves to make it, we're gonna have to either let that creation go and take a chance on being loved or hated for who [01:04:00] we really are, we are gonna have to kill who we really are and fall into our graves grasping onto a character, which we never were.
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: Hmm, hmm. Powerful.
Hmm.
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: So it's, to your point, the beautiful point that you said earlier is about, you know, something wants to happen through me stuck in poor, old little me. I'm like, as me by me. I've got to make life happen, but life through me. I'm not there. I have to just surrender what comes through.
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: Yeah.
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: of course, the personal mind interprets it back. But, um, I'm committed to fi filling on my purpose. And if, you know, if, if at that point I was, you know, rude or trying to be, you know, aggressive towards somebody or whatever, I'll clear it up and say, Hey, you know, I wasn't on form. You know, you can count on me next time to have a, you know, a powerful conversation
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: Yeah.
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: I can be responsible and, and evaluate myself against my purpose.
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: Yeah, yeah. [01:05:00] So you find yourself getting overly excited in a sense of the per of what that potential within them, which then articulates something in a way that perhaps doesn't resonate with their ideal form of receiving communication. Is that what ends up happening?
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: No. So what happens for me, a similar kind of what happens for me is sometimes in not all coaching conversations, but some, um, or conversations talking about coaching. Um, and it's not even coaching, is it? It's like it's powerful space where magic happens. You know, I can't really call it coaching. It's
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: Yeah.
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: happen
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: Yes.
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: People profoundly transform their lives. the people I work Beth best with are willing to look.
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: Hmm.
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: to do the work, are willing to go, oh my God, do you know what? You're right there. Or they're willing to contemplate. The people I don't work best with are the ones that just disagree, don't do the work.
And I [01:06:00] suppose in those conversations it shows, shows where people are at. but I always ask for permission and people often ask me, can I have your feedback? I'd love your feedback. And I say, are you sure? Uh, I'm happy to give you the feedback, but it will be honest.
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: Yeah.
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: Or it will be direct, no fluff. Or, and they say, yeah, no, I definitely want to honest feedback.
I definitely want the honest feedback. And I always say, are you sure?
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: Yeah.
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: And they say Yes. give the feedback and then they react to the feedback.
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: Yeah. That's so fair.
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: to see where somebody's at.
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: Yeah.
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: react. I can obviously help, you know, another conversation about that or. Or if they love me or hate me, doesn't,
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: Yeah.
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: doesn't matter too much, but I always know this, someone's like, oh my God, thank you so much, or they're kind of like in the middle ground or a bit forward on, they're like, I don't quite know what you mean, but can we [01:07:00] have, you know, we, can we explore it a little bit more?
I kind of sense what you're saying or that, oh my God, my most recent client was like, you are absolutely right we speak? great,
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: Yes.
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: but those people that are like, don't ever talk to me like that again. And then they de-friend you because that is a consequence of living boldly, living fulfilling your purpose. Some people will love you and some people will hate you. As to Jim Carrey's point of view. and when I'd, when it was always about personal, Adrian, right, wrong, good, bad, get impacted. But when it's a purpose which is infinite, like all beings know themselves as whole and awake. However they respond doesn't stop me from fulfill fulfilling on that purpose. And some, some people that get like that, they end up coming back around or doing amazing things.
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: Yeah. Yeah,
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: Um, so that's been my experience.
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: yeah. 'cause sometimes somebody [01:08:00] receives that feedback and they may, they may get, um, defensive in the moment.
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: Of
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: And then that, that seed has been planted though, and it's sort of there simmering in the back and the back and the back. And they, they have these moments of self-awareness along the way. We're like, you know, that guy, that Adrian guy was actually, was actually right.
You know, I haven't been showing up powerfully. Shit. What does that mean? And now you have to confront yourself.
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: Yeah.
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: And that's not easy for a lot of people. Yeah.
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: What's that?
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: And that's not easy for a lot of people. Yeah.
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: it's, it's, it's a challenge when you have, you know, you have that mirror, but. I wouldn't say stuff to people I was not willing to hear.
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: Yes.
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: engaged in that work now.
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: Yeah.
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: not like I'm not practicing what I preach. I'm, I'm practicing what I preach. I'm living that experience and then I'm reflecting that back to people. Um, and as you know, it's, there's a lot of coaches that I've found who are not doing that, [01:09:00] and it's not a judgment against them, but there's fears about stuff like personally and, you know, will I be good enough? Am I competent enough?
Can I make this business? Can I be successful? Whatever that might be, can they're still going for the experience? So I, I've been there many years ago, but there's a lot of coaches that are, find it challenging, you know? And if I don't stand for their greatness, sometimes they might never do that. And I think to add to that is that I always acknowledge. I always let people know where they're holding themselves back, and I always leave it on what's possible and whether somebody chooses to respond to that. If that's coming from my purpose, however that person responds to that is not my responsibility. If I evaluate myself in the week and I know that, okay, I dropped the ball with that person, I can go back and clear it up. But I also know the nature of living your purpose, and you know this, is [01:10:00] that you, you're gonna create agreement and disagreement. You're gonna create people that are open and closed. You're gonna create more people awake and whole, or you're gonna people on another part of the journey and, and that's okay.
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: Yeah. You recently stepped into fatherhood for the first time. What are you noticing? In what ways is fatherhood changing you as you experience it so far?
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: You know, I. I still go into those modes where I'm in, I'm in that wholeness and awakeness, but then the mind takes over and I start, you know, worrying about things and to do this, got to do that, like, that's just normal. my daughter me that none of that really matters
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: Hmm.
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: in the grand scheme of things.
None of those things matter. You know, what matters is being with her so that she's, you know, [01:11:00] connected to the world and interacting and, and doing what's best for her. So it just, yeah, changed me. It slowed me down a lot. You know, you have to be very tender. You have to be very You have to be totally, you know, connected.
Because you know, children respond to how you show up and how you are. So they give you a reflection. They're always going to cry when they want milk or they're tired. But it, it showed me to be really, really connected and Yeah. And yeah, there's like, there's like a joy or a love that I haven't felt in my heart before. You know, when, when you, when I, when I'm being with her, you'll know this. There's like a joy or a love that, that I feel. So that's, that's definitely how it's, it's changed me. Um, yeah, it's made me more connected to my [01:12:00] purpose.
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: Yeah, it does that. What's incredible, as I was mentioning last time, is that love is just gonna continue to expand and grow in a way that you didn't think was possible. It's,
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: Amazing.
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: yeah.
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: The love expands and grows and just the love expands and grows within,
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: Mm-hmm.
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: know,
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: Mm-hmm.
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: It is like today I was doing this podcast and I think I spoke to you is like whenever I've done my coaching business or life where it's been very rigid, I'm starting to realize that in this, you know, amazing podcast is I've started to realize that okay, I don't enjoy the order so much, I believe that putting order on myself or hopefully, know, I can, there's misinterpretation sometimes, you know, put order on and then you're living the life you want.
And actually no, live the life you want and then just show up to, to do things you enjoy like podcasts like this. So this morning, [01:13:00] um, I usually start work early and I didn't. I just went for a walk with my wife and took my daughter out just did the morning and I've jumped onto this podcast in the afternoon
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: Yeah.
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: it's just like, order is important, but also, you know, taking all that out as well because when, when I. When I'm here to live life and live my coaching business, live life and don't have to schedule everything, you know, just hang out in nothing and then just, you know, let, let intuition guide you. I know that can be quite a lofty idea for, for people still having things I enjoy, but, um, doing it with a bit more looseness rather than rigidity. So that's still a lesson I learn still. It's still a lesson I'm learning
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: Yeah,
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: suppose my daughter's teaching me that
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: it's a constant calibration for sure.
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: a hundred percent.
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: Yeah. As we, as we begin rounding up here, uh, if you can le leave listeners with an invitation, something to reflect on, [01:14:00] on their own transformational journeys, what might that be?
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: I think one of the most important things, uh, as coaches is, is, is really learning who am I being and who do I need to be? And embodying that everywhere you go, just in a podcast like this, but embodying it as a way of being for life. And, you know, asking the question, who am I being? If you're being unloving or if you're being stressed, if you are being overly driven, just asking that question, who am I being? You can start to see who you're being. Am I, I'm being connected and, and loving and inspired now, but just asking that question, you, Hey, who am I being? And if you're being connected, loving, inspired, inspired, um, you'll have a seed from your being. is the seed of doing and doing is the flower of being. So when you're coming [01:15:00] from that being, when you do the doing, you'll get the results from that being and doing. But everything comes from being asking that question, it just gives you the self-awareness. And then also, who do you need to be? So if you are, okay, whatever comes through, who do I need to be in this context? business, health and fitness. then you choose that way of being and being, doesn't need any extra, you know, like, like work. You don't need to go internally. It's already part of, you said, just asking those questions. Who am I being, who do I need to be are very important. before that comes purpose. So if, if Jonathan was inviting me to a party, you would invite me because all beings know themselves as whole and awake. what I bring through my life. So when people spend time with me, that's who they become. That's who they experience themselves as. So, question for you, if you're a listener, to reflect on, [01:16:00] why do people invite, why are you here and why do people invite you to the party?
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: Hmm.
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: And then once you've understood that you understand your purpose and you understand the impact you're here to make, and that impact transcends your business, it transcends You show up everywhere. You show up to the coffee shop like that. You show up to the health and fitness place like that. You show up to your business like that. So why do people invite you to the party? And then that becomes the purpose over everything that guides your being and doing in all the different areas.
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: Yeah. Beautiful. Well, I invited you to this podcast party because I know you to be whole and awake and your story is a, is a testament to the transformational journey. I mean, that you really being willing, willing to go and venture into the unknown, willing to, um, yeah, go where nobody else has gone before.
You know, in your own way, in your own life, in your own universe, and your [01:17:00] life is now a fruit of. Walking into that abyss, which has now borne the fruit of your life and the service and the family that you get to call yours. So such a gift to be here with you. Thank you for sharing your wisdom, your presence, your love, and I'm excited for listeners to listen to this episode.
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: Yeah. No, Jonathan, I really appreciate being here with you here today. And it, you know, you're such a brilliant interviewer 'cause you have real authenticity, you have real presence, and you have real experience. You're not just talking from lofty ideas. You're talking through your own personal journey you're willing, you are willing to ask questions in the moment that other podcasters I've never heard ask. So you're so in the moment with me, ask those intuitive questions, which get me to realize parts of my journey like. When I listen back to this, the stuff that I probably even haven't even thought about.
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: Sure.
adrian-hales_1_11-24-2025_143503: of the things you got me to contemplate, I'm already, you know, ideas are coming, coming up and I realize from our conversation is actually [01:18:00] I'm at another transition point now my life actually I'm being called to play a much, much bigger game. Um, so I realized that the, you know, the last part of this conversation, so keep doing the podcasts 'cause you're brilliant at them.
jonathan-_1_11-24-2025_093459: Thank you, brother. I appreciate you.