When Christopher Bolling’s life unraveled, nature, grief, and deep coaching became the ground for a profound awakening. This is a story of losing everything you thought you were, and discovering who you really are.
What happens when your identity as a leader, partner, and son all begin to fall apart at once? In this powerful episode, Christopher Bolling joins Jonathan for a deeply honest conversation about grief, awakening, and the journey back to soul.
From a quiet sabbatical in the Montana wilderness to a complete unraveling of his personal and professional life, Chris shares how nature, therapy, and deep coaching became lifelines—guiding him to uncover a more integrated, purposeful, and love-centered way of being.
This episode is a profound invitation into the kind of leadership our world needs—one rooted in clarity, courage, and compassion.
⏰ Timestamps:
01:12 – Meet Christopher Bolling
01:31 – The Sabbatical: A Turning Point
05:19 – The Spark of Awakening
12:06 – Challenges in Personal Relationships
31:57 – Emerging Through Workplace Challenges
32:15 – Deep Coaching Intensive: A Path to Self-Love
34:47 – Connecting with Nature
38:17 – The Gift of Anguish
41:16 – Living with Purpose and Power
52:08 – Compassionate Leadership
57:14 – Invitation to Transformational Practices
🔗 Connect with Christopher Bolling:
🌐 Website: https://www.vastskyleadership.com/
💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/vastskyleadership/
The Deep Coach Podcast
Episode 5: Christopher Bolling - The Soulful Executive: How Nature, Grief, and Coaching Rewrote His Life
Christopher Bolling: 05-19-2025_080449: [00:00:00] on the day that my mother died, my sister, who is my twin, and who quite frankly I was estranged from and in, a lot of ways, was upstairs overdosing on my mother's Care package. the drugs that she was given and, and it was just, it was one of those moments where all collided and, it was a really, difficult time for me.
I wanted to be sitting in honor of my mother and meanwhile I was upstairs directing traffic, administering CPR, tending to that emergency and crisis. I remember the day, as clearly as I remember any day, having to go outside and just collapsing.
Welcome to the Deep Coach, the podcast where we explore the transformational journeys that shape us and that propel us to change the world. I'm your host, Jonathan Hermida, and in each episode we sit down with those who have journeyed into the depths of spiritual transformation [00:01:00] and who are now reshaping the world through their presence and their work.
In listening to these inspiring human beings, you'll find insight, inspiration, and practical tools. That'll support your journey as a coach and as a human being. Today I am joined by Christopher Balling, and I gotta say that this conversation has really stayed with me, not just because of all that Chris has been through, but because of how honestly and soulfully, he talks through everything.
Christopher spent nearly two decades climbing the corporate ladder, doing all the things until something in him knew it was time to pause. He took a sabbatical. He went off the grid to a cab on the Madison River in Montana and spent nearly two months fly fishing, reading, and really just being, he thought he was just taking a break, but really that was the beginning of everything shifting.
A few years later, his life collapsed in many ways. His career ended. His marriage was unraveling. His mom passed and his sister overdosed that very same day. That moment cracked him open. And from that place, he began a deeper journey of healing, [00:02:00] self-discovery and awakening. Christopher is now an executive coach who leads with heart presence and soul, and he's someone who has done the deep work, and it really does show in every word that he speaks.
We talk about grief, identity, nature, coaching, and what it means to live a life that's not split into compartments, but built in alignment with who you really are. This one's rich. I hope you love it.
Jonathan Hermida: 05-19-2025_105912: 2011, you mentioned that after 17 years of being in the same corporate environment,
Christopher Bolling: 05-19-2025_080449: Yeah.
Jonathan Hermida: 05-19-2025_105912: to take a step back and go on sabbatical, and we're gonna dive into all of that.
And I'm curious the motivation behind that.
Christopher Bolling: 05-19-2025_080449: Yeah.
Jonathan Hermida: 05-19-2025_105912: curious about before we get into all of that is was Christopher balling before you got to this point? So to add more nuance in those 17 years, what was driving you? What was motivating you? What was propelling you forward?
Christopher Bolling: 05-19-2025_080449: I always had that thought in my mind that was most important for me is to be a contribution, ? And in the world of work it was, [00:03:00] whenever I showed up, it's, it's how am I gonna contribute today? And that, that was a thing that was always in the back of my mind, ? And that is, what, what is it I need to do?
And in that case, propel the organization forward. And, and for me, is it, it foster a lot of growth, quite frankly, when you show up that way. And then in 2011, so after about 17 years of my career, I. I've been, Christopher Bowling was a father. Christopher Bowling was an executive.
I, I was a member of the community. He was really active in the community. And, I just needed a break. it when, when I realized is that there's a couple of things that came together for me and when was, my son was getting older. He was about 13 years old. I wanted to spend some time with him, in, in a, in a removed setting from everyday life.
And, [00:04:00] there's also a call to nature. that, that's one of the things that's always been important in my life. And so, I grabbed a bunch of books, grabbed a bunch of fly rods, found a cabin on a river in the middle of Montana. And, I. Disconnected from my everyday life and, and, really immersed myself in, in the wilderness of Montana and the rivers of Montana.
And, it was really an extraordinary experience. And, oftentimes all I'll say is it wasn't, I wasn't soul searching, that wasn't the motivation, the motivation was just to do things that I loved and enjoyed and hadn't had a lot of time to immerse myself in. And, along the way I found myself along the way, what became apparent to me, or all the things that I hadn't been tending to.
And, when I think about that, it's, it's, [00:05:00] being outside and, and, this will be a common thread probably in our conversation, but being outdoors is, is my connection to everything that's important. I. And, it lends to perspective and it, and it, and it really connects me to the things that in my life, and, the things that I value.
So here I am in the middle of Montana and, I'll call that the spark of awakening. it's, it's, and, and part of that, quite frankly, Jonathan was self-care. And, when you're leading a bit busy life and you have these personas, ? the executive, the father, the travel hockey dad, the, school board member, there isn't often a lot of space there.
And so for me, what happened was, in that space and in the, in the vast ski of Montana, Really started to become aware of things that filled my [00:06:00] soul and, that, that were necessary for me in order to be a whole vital person. And, I would've told you at any one point in time that those things, that I was really happy doing what I was doing.
And, and I wouldn't go back on that. it's all of the roles that I was playing in the world, I was really happy and I felt, I felt good about what that looked But then there's this whole other dimension that comes to you, in the context of, just pressing pause and stepping into, beauty.
I think,
Jonathan Hermida: 05-19-2025_105912: pause and stepping into beauty. You had also mentioned that there were things that were discovered on that trip that you weren't tending to what? What were some of those things that you weren't tending to?
Christopher Bolling: 05-19-2025_080449: Well, I know it now differently than I knew it then. And, I. I think nature is my spiritual connection and, I, [00:07:00] I spent a lot of time outdoors, even, even in the context of the roles that I was playing, but I wasn't really tending to that, as that soulfulness of me as a person, in, in the, in the language of Leon or, in that deep coaching work at stage three, ? It's powered by achievement. and, and I was fully immersed in that and feeling really good about that. Again, it was, it was something I was happy. I was very, I was feeling very fulfilled.
and I actually didn't know anything was missing, at the time I just, everything was going fine for me and there wasn't really anything that I thought was missing, but when I stepped into the wilderness. What I realized is the, what comes to you through being in time and space and being held in, nature, was this, I, I'll just call it the awakening of my soul, ?
It's just, it, it was really there for me and it [00:08:00] really started to burgeon in that sense. And even when I came back, what happened was I was very energized, ? I was very energized, developed myself as a person. the first thing I went out and did, when I came back from that was I, I found an executive coach and, 'cause I, I thought if I'm gonna do this thing, I'm gonna really lean into this thing I'm gonna develop as a person and do the things that I think are most important for me.
so I came back with this just renewed sense of energy and a mantra in my head, ? I lived in a beautiful place. I lived on, in coastal California, amongst the redwoods and the ocean. And I thought, I'm gonna give myself a vacation every day, no matter what happens, ? Whatever, whatever comes along that I'm gonna spend some time outdoors, and gift myself that every day because I knew that was one of the things that ha had me showing up in a much different way when I came back from my sabbatical, [00:09:00] ?
So when I think about being whole and capable as a leader, it was really important for me to make sure that I was, in that space, ? That allowed for that to show up in its fullness.
Jonathan Hermida: 05-19-2025_105912: So making sure that you had the space to tend to your inner being and be in the inner environment, to
Christopher Bolling: 05-19-2025_080449: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. so in my work, I'm an executive coach now, but in my work, what I know is that if we're tending to our whole self, I. We tend to be better leaders, ? That was my experience when I started to really tend to that even in, what we call the busyness of the day and, the fullness of the schedule and the fullness of the things that we're tending to when we really, really focus inward in terms of, what it is that I require, to show up and live my values every day to show up and be the best leader [00:10:00] that I could be every day.
what, what I realized is, again, that I just really hadn't been tending to that in a way that was as meaningful as it otherwise could be. And then when I gifted myself that time and space, I think we all have some experience of that vitality that starts to come out through us. And that was the thing that was happening with me, ?
That was the thing that was, just really coming forward.
Jonathan Hermida: 05-19-2025_105912: I, that was part of my curiosity. When you mentioned the, the spark of awakening, what are some of the nuances that you began to discover or tap into within yourself?
Christopher Bolling: 05-19-2025_080449: I, I think the, I rather than nuances, it became questions, ? It, it became a question of, well, what will this look for me as I move forward? who will I be, as I, I continue to do the things that I, [00:11:00] that I need to be doing. and, if I consider that sabbatical and I do a recalibration point in my life, where will I be?
I started to envision something that was really different than the life that I was living, which can be a little bit unsettling, ? It's, it's I am attached to the ecosystem and I've come back to it now. That's where I live now. So I live, in the yellow sun ecosystem.
Be because it was such a driving force in my life. it started, it just started to ask bigger questions and, that, that was the nuance, ? It's okay, I'm on this, I've done the things that I wanted to do. I'm, I'm, successful in the career that I'm leading. I, I, I felt really good about my connection with my son and my family at the time.
And, all of those things were there, but it's okay, who, who, who will I emerge to be out of? [00:12:00] what this is? And, and where does this all go for me?
Jonathan Hermida: 05-19-2025_105912: You mentioned your relationships were already good, and then you started questioning some just yourself, and that started to shift things. for you, how did your relationships begin to change as a result of that inner questioning? I. Yes.
Christopher Bolling: 05-19-2025_080449: one of them was actually. Really unsettling and, so my relationship with my son remains in, strong. And it's always been strong. the people in my life were all, very important to me. And, and, I'm a person that tends to relationship was really important. my wife at the time said to me on the back end of that trip, that was one of the most boring things I've ever done.
And, for me that was a, a bit of a, a lightning bolt. it was one of those moments of, Yeah, just distress, you [00:13:00] know, when I thought about it, because I knew, at the time, I knew that that was the life I wanted to live. And, the, the, the idea of, it felt a cleave, a cleaver had come between us at that moment.
And it was a really, it's a really difficult time and, fairly unsettling for me. and, we continued to be in the relationship and, she's, she's a, she's a beautiful woman with a really kind heart. And so that was really challenging for me 'cause the relationship wasn't strained or stress aside from the vision that I was holding, in my heart.
so, so that became, a difficult part and one of the things that started that re energized the questions that I was asking for myself. And, one of those questions became. Can I give up on this vision? can, can I, can I have a [00:14:00] compromise in that vision?
And, the answer for me at the time was a resounding no. it was, this, this is something that, that, I could feel, I could feel it. My heart, it was carrying in my soul. And, so, so that for me was, again, it was, it was distrustful. we'd, I've been married for 20 years and, at the time, again, everything was going So for her it was also really challenging because, we, we'd, we'd lived a, a really happy life together and, we'd raised a really beautiful boy together. and when that, when, when that mindset shifted for me, it, it really did put it into a bit of a tumble, ? And, and it was, it was a challenging time for us.
Jonathan Hermida: 05-19-2025_105912: What helped you to navigate that time?
Christopher Bolling: 05-19-2025_080449: Ha. I dunno if anything helped me to navigate that time. it's what, what happened is I think it started to become a little bit more [00:15:00] isolated, in, in terms of, so when I was in nature and doing the things that I was loving, so EE even, after work, I'd always make some time and space to get outside and go for a paddle or go for a mountain bike ride or get into the redwoods and, or, onto the ocean and I could come back with some sense of balance.
And that was really helpful for me. but in terms of, the challenge that I was facing in terms of where I wanted to go versus where my wife wanted to go, I don't know that, I, I was able to stay balanced. and I don't think anything snuck out sideways in terms of behavior then.
but it was a really challenging time. 'cause you're always carrying this thing in your head, ? And that is, I, I don't think we're on the same path any longer.
Jonathan Hermida: 05-19-2025_105912: Yeah. And then everything came to a head in 2015. Can you describe that time period?
Christopher Bolling: 05-19-2025_080449: Yeah. oftentimes I think of it, when you're on a, on [00:16:00] a, a linear or, or somewhat linear path, and then all of a sudden, you just, it all happens. and my company decided to go from public to private. The role that I was playing was no longer necessary. So, so this, executive Chris, was instantly gone.
so I, so I ended up, after spinning again, the, the balance of my career, single place, working to be a contribution that was no longer in existence. My mother had been battling Parkinson's for over a decade and it was a really slow decline. And, at that very same time, she was sitting in home hospice.
in our final days, I then was in the middle of a divorce, and on the day that my mother died, [00:17:00] my sister, who is my twin, and who quite frankly I was estranged from and in, a lot of ways, was upstairs overdosing on my mother's Care package. the, the, the drugs that she was given and, and, and it was just, it was one of those moments where all collided and, and, it was a really, difficult time for me.
I, I wanted to be sitting in honor of my mother and meanwhile I was upstairs directing traffic, administering CPR, tending to, to, to that emergency and crisis. and I, I recall, I remember the day, as clearly as I remember any day, having to go outside and just collapsing.
it's this is a thing that I can no longer do and this is no a thing that I [00:18:00] can no longer do without help and support, just, I consider myself to have a, a, a, a lot of inner strength, but at that moment it's I, I, I really need something different than I can give to myself now.
Jonathan Hermida: 05-19-2025_105912: Yeah. And when you say this is a thing I can no longer do, you mean just life at that point in
Christopher Bolling: 05-19-2025_080449: Yeah, shoulder it, ? I'd always been a really dutiful man. it's one of those things, it's always the one in the family that would hold it all together. And I was always, obviously I was the one, whether it's in the community or whether it's, within my family.
And so suddenly the burden became really great. And, one of those things that I find found really difficult, which is an understatement, ? It was, for me, for me it was a crisis on a lot of levels.
Jonathan Hermida: 05-19-2025_105912: Yeah. What was the first ground or support that you landed [00:19:00] on?
Christopher Bolling: 05-19-2025_080449: Yeah. I decided to go seek a therapist and, and I was so fortunate to, to find a very gifted therapist, that could hold space for me in a way that was just really profound. I. and I, with all humans, ? I hold us as whole and capable and able to solve our own problems and challenges. And, and he was a man that showed me what it looked to, to hold somebody in a way that allowed for that healing to start to happen.
there's a lot of confusion in my life. I didn't really know what was gonna happen. I, I didn't know what the next stage for my career was gonna be. obviously again, I was in, in the middle of divorce. I had a lot of worries about my son in that time, and, and making sure that, that he, he was cared for in a way that was, was meaningful to him.[00:20:00]
and then of course, my family and, all, all at the same time I was, I. I was really challenged to say, what is it that I need to be doing and, and who, who am I gonna become here? And, at the time I didn't even know where I was gonna be living, I was still living in the community that I had spent most of my adult life in.
so, the therapist again, he was just, yeah. I, I couldn't be more grateful for him. And, it was a really amazing experience and, it helped me understand, that we need partnership in a way that I hadn't experienced before. ? My relationships were really important to me, but this is a DA different relationship.
and that partner for, for me in that time, just really helped me understand a couple of things and. I had that experience also with executive [00:21:00] coaching is we, we, we don't need to do this alone, ? We really shouldn't be doing this alone. We all need, help and support and care along the way.
And that was a really important life lesson for me. ? it's just really significant.
Jonathan Hermida: 05-19-2025_105912: So what came from that experience? So you started to see the therapist. The therapist was supporting you during this time to unburden some of what you had been carrying. How then did you begin emerging out of that experience?
Christopher Bolling: 05-19-2025_080449: Yeah. the overarching question as you might imagine is what's next? what, what even is the next step for me? and what I decided to do rather than rush into the next step. Was really challenge my values, ? Really try to [00:22:00] understand who I was. And so, I did that, I was living up here a lot, not always here, but I was living up here a lot and I did that analytically, ?
It's if I, if I'm gonna explore my values, I'm really gonna explore my values. And I challenge myself in that way. And, one of the things that really surprised me in that exploration is that the value that I landed on, first and foremost is love. And, the way I express it is love and the capacity to be loved.
And when I, when I realized that that was something that was really part of me and really looked backwards to say when I was intention with that feeling, it was obvious, ? Even in the workplace, ? It's when I, when I realized that the most anxiety or distress that I ever felt in the workplace is when the relationships weren't [00:23:00] going well.
obviously the same thing was happening with my former wife and that was, when, when, when there was tension there, the value that it was a braiding was, again, love and the capacity be loved. so every time I explored that, it's it, it was a bit of an aha moment because that, that's not, if you had asked me on the street what my top three values are, I wouldn't have said.
what, what I know now, and that is I am love, ? And, and, and that is who, who I seek to be. and so from that place, I felt I had some footing and I also, I felt I had the ability to. Run any of the things I was considering in terms of the next stage of my career through the litmus test of that.
And, if, if I think about that, when I seek that next opportunity, does it meet [00:24:00] that value in a way that is wholehearted? and so what what was obvious is, it's if you're on this, I had, I had a ING career and, and every time I thought about stepping into a, a similar role, I just noticed that there was some friction there.
And, and it didn't feel it was it every time and, you wanna consider leveraging your past experience. But every time I co considered thinking about that, it's it's not really meeting that criteria. it's not allowing me to live in alignment. And, so that for me was one of the things that was really, then I.
In some ways unsettling, because, it's well, am I gonna throw this out the window? All of the work that I had been doing. so I continued to explore, what could it be? And, and that again, it, it, it was very significant, incredibly profound for me. [00:25:00] and in a random conversation one day, when I was networking and, and again, just looking across the range of opportunities, somebody said a person that I didn't even know, I don't get it.
why are you not considering being an executive coach? And, and I, I thought about it for a minute, and I, and I ran it across. This litmus test of, love and learning and, perspective, wisdom and the things that I thought were really important for me in my life. And, and it seemed to check a lot of boxes.
And it also, really incorporated my past experience in a way that wasn't throwing anything away, but was, was moving it into a really, really different realm.
Jonathan Hermida: 05-19-2025_105912: What were some of the, the aspects of your past experiences that you are now leveraging in executive coaching?
Christopher Bolling: 05-19-2025_080449: [00:26:00] one is just being involved in the business experience and, using the experience that I have, As a foundation. in other words, to be informed when I'm working with an executive. it's interesting, Jonathan, because I think that that past business experience obviously allows me to gain new clients, but it's, it's not the thing that drives me forward any longer.
it's, it's to be a loving and supportive presence for the people that I work with. and, and the thing that also was just incredibly, fulfilling was to work with people To become who they are in their fullness, ? I, I consider. Leadership to be also ontological.
A way of being. And when I think about leadership [00:27:00] as a way of being and stepping into what that looks even talking about it, ? It fills my chest up and it's who, who are you to become? so, so part of the experiences that I was having for myself was informing the way that I showed up to work with, clients.
and I've skipped a step 'cause what, what, what I did then once I realized that that's something that I really wanted to immerse myself in and, quite frankly I just committed to it almost overnight. I went to Berkeley Executive Coaching Institute, and that was a very, it was immersive and moving and not at all analytical.
It was all hard work and, they did extraordinary work there. That again, pushed me through. Another portal, so to speak, of exploration because, if you're gonna, if you're gonna sit in front of somebody, and, and we know this as deep coaches, ? You have to do your own [00:28:00] work. and so, that work then was, a continuation of, how do I do my own personal work to show up as who I am so that I can fulfill this promise that I'm making to myself and the, the promise that I'm making to people, To support them.
Jonathan Hermida: 05-19-2025_105912: Oftentimes, executives and a loving presence don't typically go hand in hand together in the way that we've come to know it. you mentioned Berkeley, the Berkeley Institute of Executive Coaching, that that opened your, your, your mind to that possibility. How, how were they bridging that gap between supporting executives and coming from a heart-centered
Christopher Bolling: 05-19-2025_080449: Yeah. So the principles that they work with is show up and choose to be present. and in order to do that, you've got to do your own work. it really, it, they really stretched you to, to get outta [00:29:00] your own way. So to speak. also pay attention to what has heart and meaning, ?
So one of the things that I think is really important in the work, of coaching work in general is not, again, it's I'm not being directive. I'm, I'm, I'm truly sitting in the coach's seat. And what's important to me is understanding who you are at your core, what who you are, at, what is your essence.
and it, it wasn't at all about the rigor of business, ? It became about, really understanding who people are and what moves them and what motivates them and what influences them. so, so that's really where the boundaries started to be stretched, and that's where I was stretching myself in many, many different ways.
And once I left that experience, I kept on seeking out more, really, really digging into other experiences that would stretch me as a person. but the direct [00:30:00] answer to your question is, sure it's not about the face of the executive, it's about the heart of the executive. And, and we wanna make sure to lean into that.
and in so many ways, you end up being a Trojan horse because they don't know what's coming, ? If you, if I really seek to understand who you are, and that starts to in, unfold in the relationship. And you start to step into that choice for yourself every day. It's incredible. ? It's simply incredible.
Jonathan Hermida: 05-19-2025_105912: How have you noticed executives responding to that Trojan horse? So they come seeking leadership support, executive support, and then there's a deeper loving presence on the other side.
Christopher Bolling: 05-19-2025_080449: Yeah.
Jonathan Hermida: 05-19-2025_105912: have they normally responded to that?
Christopher Bolling: 05-19-2025_080449: Yeah. we're all wired to connect, and whether we know it or not, we're all wired to connect at the heart level. And when somebody [00:31:00] really seeks to explore who you are and connect to you at that level, my experience with it is, they, they blossom or thrive. And, that to me has always just been, honestly, it's the same experience that I had with my therapist.
here's a man who's willing to hold me. Here's, here's a man who's willing to help me move forward. Here's, here's a man that's gonna sit in a place that is nonjudgmental and, to be a loving presence and, and to really, be there for you in such a meaningful, in the, in the, in the deep coaching work, ?
We, we say our being is the doing. And, it wasn't informed in that way at the time, but that's the truth, ? It's, it's, we allow for somebody to emerge from a place where they might think it's about solving a problem, ? They might think it's about solving the [00:32:00] challenges that they have in the workplace, but really what it's about is allowing them to emerge, ?
To bring their values forward, to step into that choice. And, and when we're informed by that, there's a lot of wisdom.
Jonathan Hermida: 05-19-2025_105912: How did the deep coaching intensive take your work deeper?
Christopher Bolling: 05-19-2025_080449: oftentimes so, so with us, that have gone through the work, if what it really allowed for me is to not shy away from the person that is at, at the center of myself. And that is love, ? it, it really allowed for that to emerge in, in, in a way that it was unambiguous.
it really allowed for me to make connections to a source of vitality, which is spirit. that quite frankly was, I think a key to, a much deeper place of existence for [00:33:00] me. as I sit here, I can watch, I. The Aspen leaves quaking. And every time I see that, for me it, it's, it's the breath of spirit and it helps me be in a really immersive and, and deep place for myself.
And again, that's a wise place for me, ? It's not that I'm always in a wise place, there are times of course when I am not in my full awareness and, on autopilot and, so for me, one of the things that the institute brought to me was, the practices. it also brought that connection to spirit, which I think, I'd always had those moments of awe and wonder in my life, ?
I'd always had that experience of being in nature and having it really fill me up. I really wasn't aware that it could be in connection with that anytime, anywhere on, on a plane, flying back [00:34:00] home from, work engagement and being able to connect to spirit in a way that just makes me feel so good.
just that, that really just fills me up in a really profound way. And when you're, when you're operating from that place with people and supportive people, it's beyond fulfilling. and it, and it oftentimes is blissful. quite frequently it can be blissful and no matter what's happening, in your life or in the world, you can connect to that and, and, and still show up for people.
and that to me is, I, I think it's been the gift of, of the Deep Coaching Institute.
Jonathan Hermida: 05-19-2025_105912: Yeah. Yeah. You had mentioned nature a couple times. Nature seems to be a pivotal part of who you are and what helps you to connect to life to yourself. you describe a little more about your relationship to nature[00:35:00]
Christopher Bolling: 05-19-2025_080449: Yeah.
Jonathan Hermida: 05-19-2025_105912: for you?
Christopher Bolling: 05-19-2025_080449: Yeah. I'm really blessed to be in a place where I can experience that every day. I'm really blessed to be in a place where I can walk outside my door and, be immersed in nature. I and my wife shares this. n na nature is healing, na, nature is enlivening. Nature is a connection, it's, outside, in bare feet.
letting it all come to me is, just something that get, its source. when it really comes down to it, its source. And so it's a continuous. Energizing force in my life. And I also know about myself that if I don't have it, I start to break a little, when I, when it's not, because, when I'm not giving it to [00:36:00] myself, I, I'm not showing up as whole as I otherwise could be.
so, so for me it's this just constant energizing force and connection to spirit, that is so meaningful and, and it really helps bring perspective. one of the things that I, I, hold as values is perspective wisdom. And when, when I'm in nature, that that's there in present whole of the time.
so it feeds me in ways that are, just, just really significant, really meaningful, lens to my vitality. gives me, I. All kinds of motivation to bring people into nature also. I think that's one of the things that, through my experience that I really wanna share. and again, all of my past experience would say when we are in, I tend to think things work better when we have some [00:37:00] spaciousness in our lives.
Jonathan Hermida: 05-19-2025_105912: Christopher Bolling: 05-19-2025_080449: And I, at, at, at its core, that's what being in nature is, ? It's so expansive. Ima imagine being held by everything in the universe, ? and that to me is what it is because when I'm in that expansive place, I'm at my best. And, and I tend to think most people are at their best when there is some spaciousness in their lives.
Jonathan Hermida: 05-19-2025_105912: Yeah. Yeah, no doubt. And it's no surprise that the moment you gave yourself a significant amount of time in that spaciousness, that's when the
Christopher Bolling: 05-19-2025_080449: That's That's exactly Not a surprise at all. and even in this environment where, I think there's some, I I live in the United States, ? I, I feel there's some really aggressive and hostile action happening here. what the perspective of nature, and again, spirit and the wisdom of spirit brings me is the ability to take that aggressive [00:38:00] energy and turn it into something positive.
to, to, to, to take it and know that I can create something from what I even experience as negative or, aggressive and turn it into something that is, meaningful and positive.
Jonathan Hermida: 05-19-2025_105912: You recently wrote a beautiful piece on the gift of my anguish. I believe you titled it. Can you talk a little more about that anguish?
Christopher Bolling: 05-19-2025_080449: Yeah. In that piece, one of the things that I was really trying to drive at is I have felt a great deal of anxiety. it, given the conditions that we're, we're, we're facing here, and when I really started to look under the covers there, because e anxiety can be paralytic, ? It, it can, it can hold you back.
I was also noticing that it was making it [00:39:00] difficult for me to be truly connected. and when I say connected, connected to myself and, connected to who I am and connected to spirit, and that felt threatening to me. it was, it was a moment that I really had to explore. And so when I began to explore that what I realized was under the covers there was that I care so deeply.
That, the, the things that I care about, people, the environment we're feeling threatened and, to watch people be, be threatened or, to see hostile acts, happen in the world and obviously much more broadly than the United States, ? there's a lot of things happening in our world today that are, really distrustful.
So when I started to think [00:40:00] about care and love, that's what emerged from that, exploration and what, what, what happened to me then was
how do I bring myself into alignment now so that I can have as much impact as I need to have, ? And, that was instantly liberating for me.
Jonathan Hermida: 05-19-2025_105912: Christopher Bolling: 05-19-2025_080449: It was instantly liberating in such a way. And, and that, that I was able to act with strength and put myself out in the world and, e even, to, to the degree of just writing about that experience, and on, I feel as aligned now and as powerful now as I have ever felt in my life.
[00:41:00] and that was, it's such a worthwhile exploration because when I got to the core of that, it is. what do I need to do and how can I be a contribution? And how do I let that love and care emerge from myself in such a way that it can have an impact? And, I'm, I'm doing pro bono coaching for C-suite executives with environmental nonprofits now because it's something that I really, obviously care deep about.
and, and, I continued to do my work as an executive coach, and that shows up for me in a way, again, that I, I'm standing in my power and, and, so I moved to that place of power by purpose, which again, it was stepping through another door and realizing that that's where I need to be all of the time.
And, that again, I need to tend to myself in such a way that I can bring that forward. And, I to think about now, and I [00:42:00] think you could probably sense the energy in, in my, in my voice is Love with a backbone. ? Love with courage and, not be afraid to speak to the things that are meaningful to you now and not be afraid to let that love come forward in such a way that people know it and experience it, speaking to love with the executives that I work for, ?
Speaking to being 11, supportive presence and, and my purpose in life. And, and continuing to work in that alignment. And, when the, when those things have come forward, it's, it's also crystallizing the vision of, how I will work moving forward and what that looks for me.
Jonathan Hermida: 05-19-2025_105912: That is so beautiful. That is so beautiful. Yeah. Anguish often comes, or always comes from a place of hopelessness, ? There's anguish because you feel there's, what can I do? There's a, a degree of impotence it. So to channel that [00:43:00] then and ask what is under my control? What can I do? How, what is my role? Amidst all of this that is happening in the world taking action in that direction, whether that be writing, whether that be the nonprofit work, the coaching work, you can see how there's a surge of power because now you're doing what you individually are to do in this world for the betterment of the world
Christopher Bolling: 05-19-2025_080449: That's it speaks to agency, which we all carry, ? We, we carry, the ability to have self-agency. for me it, it clearly speaks to purpose, ? and there's a gift, ? So that's the, the gift of the anxiety that it was facing is now that there's something, it's almost that, that, I don't know if it's the last little bit, ?
I don't know if it's fair to say that, but for now, what happened is I go okay, I. I'm clear. I know what it [00:44:00] is. I know what it's gonna be. I know how I'm gonna live my life, And I, I know what I get to bring here. And, it's this triangle of love and the environment and, and, and the purpose of helping people move forward.
And, and, and, it, it's just for, for me, it's just so resonant. and, I, I envision now, my life. More fully in terms of as I work forward about bringing executives into my space and into the wilder, I, I envision continuing to be a presence for, the environ, the people that are working to, care for the environment.
And, when, when the, when that really clicked in for me, it's I haven't been really working in that capacity. I, I, I'm out in it every day, but I haven't been working to protect it every day. And, the, I I consider, again, they're, they're not just, they're [00:45:00] not separate these things.
they are, who I am, my fullest expression and how I'm gonna, continue to navigate this world and what I'm gonna commit myself to. and so again,
just difficult times in our lives, When we flip those difficult times upside down, it enables a different future and it enables the investigation and it enables, the continue, look inward, so that you can step into a life of purpose, ? So that you can work courageously, to create a better world.
Jonathan Hermida: 05-19-2025_105912: Yeah, your, your life just seems such a testament to what happens when we clear the channels, the obstructions that are within that then [00:46:00] allows us to really, truly live our dharma, our purpose, our truth, because that, that is the result of clearing the channels, is now the life force. Life energy is now moving through us in such a way that it can support the ongoing evolution of our world.
Christopher Bolling: 05-19-2025_080449: Yeah. And when it happens, it, and it's available and accessible to all of us, ? in the journey of transformation, one of the interesting things that I think, many of us is probably have experiences is there, it's, it's there and it's always been there.
And, then there's this o this other motivation is to there's, there's many ways to live your purpose, but when, when that congeals for you, the energy and vitality is unambiguous, ? it you, you're not [00:47:00] second guessing what it looks with certainty.
There are many things you don't know About how that would, will unfold for you. but it allows you to step into that every single day. And that, that, that, that sense of clarity is just, it's striking. I
Jonathan Hermida: 05-19-2025_105912: Yeah. And, and action reveals itself day by day. not a thinking about it or you don't have to try to figure it out. It's just you are the expression of that which is needed day in and day out.
Christopher Bolling: 05-19-2025_080449: surrender and trust, ? Give yourself over to that thing, which and trust that it will all manifest itself in a way, That is heartfelt for you.
Jonathan Hermida: 05-19-2025_105912: From the place of perspective wisdom, which I love that, that term, it's so on with everything that you're sharing from that place of perspective wisdom. If [00:48:00] somebody is listening or watching this and they are deep in the muck, asking themselves some of these existential questions, wondering what their role, what their purpose is, what insight might you provide them here in this moment?
Christopher Bolling: 05-19-2025_080449: I think the trigger point for me, and it, and it came through the deep coaching work, the trigger point for me is who am I? And the, so, so when we're in the muck and when things are not clear, The person at the center of your being is wise beyond measure. And when you're able to, and it may not come quickly, ?
This, there's, I don't think there are any shortcuts to that, but I, but I think the question is worth repeating over and over and over again until an answer emerges. And when you connect that [00:49:00] wi wisdom lifts there. Wisdom lives there. It it, even, even in the, in, in the case of anything that you might be struggling with, when you connect to that, wisdom lives there.
And, and so again, I think patience is required. I'm a 61-year-old male, ? this didn't happen when I was 22 years old. the, the journey's been a long journey, the last 15 years for me have been, very challenging in so many different ways. and, and, and it's, and it's worth living with that, ?
It's, it's worth continuing to ask yourself that question. But if you, if you get to the central, who am I? ? When, when I asked that myself over and over and again, and the only answer that continued to surface was love. Well, love is a very wise place. So whoever you are [00:50:00] and however you wanna bring that into the world, I, I think that's my advice.
Jonathan Hermida: 05-19-2025_105912: Yeah, yeah. Who am I is the calibrating question. It, it really begins to, and, and oftentimes an answer is not even needed. It, it just starts to calibrate you and your life in such a way that aligns you that which you are in the deepest, highest sense possible.
Christopher Bolling: 05-19-2025_080449: Yeah. The function of the disturbances in our life, ? The cleaving from the ego of being an executive, or the cleaving from the ego of being a father, in the way I used to be a father or, a member of the community, the function of that, which can be really unsettling is, To move away from that and to step into something that that isn't, persona that, that lives [00:51:00] with you, no matter what role you're fulfilling in the world, that doesn't have an attachment to how you externally present yourself in the world. That's just, that real deep connection.
Jonathan Hermida: 05-19-2025_105912: Yeah. Have yet to find a person who's living their truth and their purpose, who has not gone through periods of extreme anxiety, tension, discomfort. Where they're questioning absolutely everything. It, it, it is part of the human journey to experience a lot of these things and it is the very material That, that propels us forward into greater, expressions of
Christopher Bolling: 05-19-2025_080449: Yeah. Yeah. We don't see these things as a gift when we're going through them, When the squiggly lines happen. We don't, we, we don't, we don't necessarily see, that was my experience at least. We don't necessarily see them as a gift, but it's easy, really easy for me to now look back and see that as a gift.
[00:52:00] It's, it's, it's easy for me to see that tumult that we're, going through in the world as a gift. yeah.
Jonathan Hermida: 05-19-2025_105912: What are the characteristics of the type of leadership you feel this world needs more of?
Christopher Bolling: 05-19-2025_080449: I step, I start with compassion,
Jonathan Hermida: 05-19-2025_105912: Yeah.
Christopher Bolling: 05-19-2025_080449: ? A heartfelt willingness, To be a compassionate soul. And if we can be compassionate, again, it's a really wise place, to, to, to be very understanding. I was thinking about that. I, you on a flight recently.
I, I, it's, tolerance no matter what, to me is another thing that is, really important in this world, ? So I, I may not identify with some of the politics there, but I can, if I, if I, if I go deep, I can [00:53:00] understand how people were influenced, ? And what that conditioning might've been that led them to a place, That isn't necessarily compassionate. and so I, I, I, I tend not to sit in judgment of people, and I think it's really important for us to be compassionate and tolerant and empathetic, ? Because if we can be empathetic, and it doesn't matter if I, you don't have to share my point of view, ?
You don't have to share my politics. That's not interesting to me, ? I, I just really wanna know what shaped you. And I, I really wanna know whether or not you're open to being challenged with your beliefs. And again, you don't have to share my same beliefs. I just you to elevate, ? Look all the way around that, understand whether or not those beliefs are serving you.
And if you make the choice to move forward with those lead, beliefs, that that's your choice. [00:54:00] I, I don't tend to feel that friction with people ever. And I, and I think as a leader, if we, if we could walk around our buildings or walk around our communities, however you're choosing to serve as a leader and, and look at the thought bubbles that are happening over people's head, I think it would shape you to be a compassionate leader in a, in a way that could help, create a world that we wanna create together.
Jonathan Hermida: 05-19-2025_105912: Yeah, it's so true. It's so true. It's, it's interesting because we recognize that in order to get to this place of living our purpose, living our truth, we recognize that we need to go through some muck, some, disturbance, life destruction, but we don't see the ca that's being the case for society.
And, and that might be what we are going through now,
Christopher Bolling: 05-19-2025_080449: That's Jonathan Hermida: 05-19-2025_105912: the, on a macro level that, just of old ways of being and the old ways not necessarily serving. And so there, [00:55:00] there is a, an awakening. the optimist in me sees an awakening
Christopher Bolling: 05-19-2025_080449: Yeah.
Jonathan Hermida: 05-19-2025_105912: side of this,
Christopher Bolling: 05-19-2025_080449: Yeah.
Jonathan Hermida: 05-19-2025_105912: We are gonna come out of this stronger, more deeply connected to our collective truth. begin living in a way that is hopefully more harmonious as a whole.
Christopher Bolling: 05-19-2025_080449: I think that's insightful. I share that belief at, at this moment in time across the world, we're looking into a mirror
Jonathan Hermida: 05-19-2025_105912: Yeah.
Christopher Bolling: 05-19-2025_080449: and we have to resolve whether we what we see there. And what, what I about that challenge, I, I don't what's happening. but I also believe, in human goodness, and when we do look into that mirror and we do see the things that are unfolding and we do challenge ourselves to say, is this okay for me or do we want this for ourselves?
Jonathan Hermida: 05-19-2025_105912: Yeah.
Christopher Bolling: 05-19-2025_080449: to share the same belief. I tend, I tend to believe that [00:56:00] this will be an inflection point for something that's going to be really, really important for all of us.
Jonathan Hermida: 05-19-2025_105912: Yeah. Yeah. 'cause as folks then engage in the work of clearing their inner channels, then each little cell that's in different pockets of the world starts wakening, to their own truth and their own role in this world. And yeah, hopefully things start to, then the ship starts to itself in, in a different direction.
Christopher Bolling: 05-19-2025_080449: Yeah, you asked my que, when I'm in nature, I feel held by nature and everything, and we all are We are all a living, breathing organism. We, we all belong to the same. And, there's often conflict. It's just there's conflict within the body, ? There's cells that attack, other cells.
And, there, there are places where we can explore that and know everything doesn't have to be harmonious all the time. And it, and it would be futile to think that that would be happening. but when we collectively come [00:57:00] together and again, examine the behaviors that we're witnessing and challenge ourselves to something different, I think again, I hold hope out.
Jonathan Hermida: 05-19-2025_105912: Yeah. Yeah. Chris, as we begin wrapping up this conversation, if you could leave listeners with an invitation,
Christopher Bolling: 05-19-2025_080449: Jonathan Hermida: 05-19-2025_105912: something to reflect on or practice in their own transformational journeys, what might it be?
Christopher Bolling: 05-19-2025_080449: I would leave them with the invitation to immerse theirselves in the first practice.
Jonathan Hermida: 05-19-2025_105912: I.
Christopher Bolling: 05-19-2025_080449: ? it's obvious that it, that it serves me. but one is to, to slow it all down, to really sink with the rhythm of nature, ? to, to really allow [00:58:00] for some spaciousness and to create the space that you need, ?
To see the things that you need to gain the perspective that you need. It doesn't happen in a hurried life, ? It, I can challenge my language there, but it doesn't happen. I. In the end to end life when we're rushing from one thing to the next, When, when we really sit with ourselves, when we really sit in spaciousness, I think, I think many things unfold that are worthy of Sitting with and being with. And, and there's a lot of beauty in that. And again, as we explore that, it's even, even in the conflict, ? Even in what you're struggling with and even in being with somebody that, something that might be really difficult for you, a lot of beauty can emerge from that place.
Jonathan Hermida: 05-19-2025_105912: Yeah. [00:59:00] What, what might this, more slow down way of being looked realistically for you when you had a young son and you were rising in your career, ? Because there's periods of our life that are more conducive
Christopher Bolling: 05-19-2025_080449: Yeah.
Jonathan Hermida: 05-19-2025_105912: slowed down and living a slow down life versus others.
Christopher Bolling: 05-19-2025_080449: for me, what I discovered at that time was an hour in a sea kayak on a paddle in the middle of the ocean, ? An hour on a single track trail in the redwoods. a half hour taking a walk as a break from that really busy day, in a, in a place where you can acknowledge everything that's happening around you.
and to be with it, ? to sit on a park bench and watch the rustling leaves of the tree, and just really take that all in. we can create 15 minutes of time for ourselves, to be with something that is really meaningful and not [01:00:00] to avoid it, ? a lot of people are uncomfortable with space and silence, but sit in the discomfort, be in that discomfort.
Jonathan Hermida: 05-19-2025_105912: Yeah, find your pockets. Yeah.
Christopher Bolling: 05-19-2025_080449: Yeah.
Jonathan Hermida: 05-19-2025_105912: Is there anything that you haven't shared that would be worth sharing before we close?
Christopher Bolling: 05-19-2025_080449: Yeah. I, I guess it's another invitation and, and that is to step into your fullness. and to be courageous. I, no matter what, what is important to you, courage is required. I, I've, I've come to think that, I. I've shared this with some of the teams that I've been working with lately as I don't, I don't think leadership, courage is optional.
I think it's something that we all get to step [01:01:00] into and we all get to have impact no matter what we believe in, what we want to see happen in this world. But I think, I think courage is a word that's been ever present for me lately, and I think we all have the opportunity to be courageous.
Jonathan Hermida: 05-19-2025_105912: Beautiful. Well said. an insightful conversation. Chris, thank you so much for sharing it with us and, and thank you for your presence and everything that you're doing in the world.
Christopher Bolling: 05-19-2025_080449: Yeah. I'm so, grateful for the gift of you, for the gift of this community. and it's really been a pleasure getting to know you also
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