When Monica Larrabeiti’s carefully curated life began to unravel—career, marriage, identity—she was forced to confront what truly matters. In this intimate conversation, she shares her journey from corporate success to spiritual surrender, and what it means to trust life’s unfolding.
At age 30, Monica was a high-achieving executive climbing the ladder at Procter & Gamble, until an anxiety crisis, infertility struggles, and deep spiritual questioning cracked her wide open. What followed was a 15+ year journey of transformation, from “superwoman” to surrendered guide, from perfectionism to purpose.
Here’s a peak at what’s inside...
⏰ Timestamps:
🔗 Connect with Monica:
Website: https://monicalarrabeiti.com
Spanish DCI: https://centerfortransformationalcoaching.com/es
Instagram: @monicalarrabeiti | @thedeepcoach.es
LinkedIn: Monica Larrabeiti
Monica: [00:00:00] That anxiety crisis. Allowed me to stop. I was given a leave of absence that was, truly humiliating for my ego at the moment, but was, a blessing to my soul because it was an opening, a turning point into something, some new reality
Welcome to the Deep Coach, the podcast where we explore the transformational journeys that shape us and that propel us to change the world. I'm your host, Jonathan Hermida, and in each episode we sit down with those who have journeyed into the depths of spiritual transformation and who are now reshaping the world through their presence and their work and listening to these incredible human beings.
You'll find insight, inspiration, and practical tools. To support your journey as a coach and as a human being. Today's guest is my very good friend, Monica Lati. Monica is a master certified coach, one of our beloved deep coaching intensive learning [00:01:00] leaders, and in fact, the very first learning leader that Leon ever invited into the program.
She now also leads the Spanish language, DCI, helping bring this deep work to coaches across the Spanish speaking world. Monica is an absolute spiritual powerhouse and a true inspiration. In this episode, we talk about her 16 year journey, climbing the corporate ladder at p and g, her experiences with infertility and divorce, and the spiritual awakening that followed.
We explore her path into motherhood, her calling into coaching and how her spiritual journey continues to evolve today, whether you've already had the joy of learning from Monica through one of our programs, or you're just meeting her now for the very first time. This is a conversation you won't wanna miss.
Let's dive in.
Jonathan: Well, Monica, it is a pleasure and a privilege as always to be connected with you and wise.
jonathan-_1_08-29-2025_090543: it,
Jonathan: it, it feels appropriate to start with this good girl script that you've mentioned to me a couple of times. Yeah.
Because it [00:02:00] seems like that was a piece that formed you early in life and that influenced the unfolding of your life. Yeah. Can you, can you talk a little bit about this girl? Good girl Script.
Monica: Yeah, that good girl script. Now where is she? She's still here. She's still here. But it, uh, felt at the time, well, I don't know how it felt at the time, but when I look at it now from from here, it felt a bit like a psychological prison, you know, in the sense of many shoulds must, you must, uh, have good grades.
You must obey, you must be the good girl, the good niece, the good granddaughter, because I was the first child of the family and, um, I had to do it right. You know, and to be right and to be, to [00:03:00] conform to the norms. So the, the memories I have of that was more of a, like a psychological prison in a way. Lack of freedom.
More of a, yeah. The norms that you need to conform with or to check the boxes, you know, and, uh, do what is expected from you mainly.
Jonathan: you mentioned that you felt confined. I wonder what, what the ex, because when you're in that script early in life, you don't necessarily know that you're operating under a script.
It. It's just no.
Monica: Yeah. This is why I am saying, when I think of it from now, from here, from where I am now and being able to compare the difference, this is what I believe it felt like. But I, I recall, I recall that there were. Like judgments, you know, from my mom. Like, you need to, you should be this [00:04:00] way. And you are, uh, you have to act this way and you have to get this, and you have to get that.
And also memories of, uh, Monica is very responsible. Monica is very responsible, you know, and I was four and I was very responsible and I was responsible for my daughter, for, sorry, for my sister, for my, uh, cousins because they were like two, three years younger than me. And I was responsible when I was four.
So, so in a way, yeah, I had that responsibility, but not like an ability to respond, but rather as a burden to, to to, yeah. To, um, be good with the expectations of the adults in my life at the time.
Jonathan: another thing that is coming from maybe a little bit, uh, older than that, but whenever I, I wanted to speak and adults were speaking around the table, having lunch or [00:05:00] whatever, like, kids don't talk when adults are speaking.
Monica: So I had to be cautious, careful, and kind of, um, yeah. Limit my spontaneity.
Jonathan: Yeah. And hold back.
Monica: Hold back. Yeah. That's the word. Hold back.
Jonathan: Yeah. I know. It's hard.
Monica: Be careful, observant. Can I, can I not?
Jonathan: Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I know it's really difficult to go back in retrospect, but what do you think your, if you didn't have this good girl script that was imposed upon you in some regard, what do you think your natural state of being would have been or how it would have unfolded?
As a young person?
Monica: Well, I would say more free, more spontaneous, more, um, less holding back and more expressing whatever, you know, like, uh, the highs and the lows. Um, rather than [00:06:00] being more of a flat line just in case, you know, like, I cannot be that happy. I cannot be that sad or that causing problems to others, uh, bothering.
Um, so I would say I would be more ups and downs, more spontaneous, more alive, more more of a child, uh, who lives in a sense of wonder and possibility and openness and, uh, yeah, freedom. Um, yeah.
Jonathan: And then all of that came crashing down in a sense with the divorce of your parents at about 19, is that right?
Monica: Well, um, yeah, with the divorce of my parents and there was, uh, there was, how was it? So I. There was, uh, yeah, something in the script is off. Something in the script of a good [00:07:00] life, of a happy life in all senses for me and for my system, for my family system was off because that was a bad thing, you know?
And more like maybe 30, 40 years ago when that wasn't the usual in Spain. So it was more of a, yeah, it's not in my hands. I cannot control it, but it's affecting me. Because the picture is not that nice anymore. So that, yeah, having the nice picture, the nice, uh, girl, the nice grades, the, the nice, uh, fitting with society, you know, that sense of, uh, of belonging out of feeding into the rules of society was, uh, very strong in me.
And when that happened, yeah, that was like, uh, hard to, to process beyond the personal emotions of it, which were [00:08:00] sad. Very sad. But also, yeah, the, my image in society, you know, I was very, I was very, I was very associated to a, a self image. Still am, but but much less.
Jonathan: Sure, sure. Yes. I, I imagine also the image, 'cause it seemed like your mom was driving a bit of that perfectionism, I'm sure on some level or on a direct level.
It shattered the image you had of your mom and your dad, I'm sure, in terms of like this perfection that they were, you know? Yeah,
Monica: yeah. Perfection was not there anymore. And there was a story that I was telling myself, but they were the perfect couple. How can this happen? You know? Uh, it was perfect. How can this happen?
And so, yeah, for both the, my mom, my dad, but the, the [00:09:00] family picture at large, yeah.
Jonathan: Yeah,
Monica: it was an opening because, because in a way dealing with that, uh, sadness, that disruption because it was a disruption also opened, uh, well or connected me with more resources and, and with a larger view of life.
Jonathan: Hmm.
Yeah. So it cracked you open and yet you, you still graduated from the good girl to the superwoman?
Monica: Of course,
Jonathan: of
Monica: course. I graduated with honors. Or not with honors, but yeah, like very well, you know, and I got hired by a very good company just after graduating, and I was, uh, keeping, like checking the boxes of done, done, done.
And um, and, uh, yeah, it was, uh, it was powerful. And I'm not saying that it was because I started with that psychological prison to [00:10:00] me at the time, as you, as you pointed to, I didn't have another reference. So to me it was the, the normal, you know, and I was doing good. I was being successful in a way, even with my parents' divorce.
I mean, I had many friends. I, uh, I've had a good life, I, I want to say, I want to say. But um, but yeah, I continued with that. Checking the boxes of the good, happy, successful life. And I got hired by, uh, PNG at the time and I moved to Madrid and I was having financial freedom when being 23 and having a new environment, a new town, a huge town.
More freedom, more um, uh, I was more anonymous, you know, because I was coming from a smaller town. So those were years of also a lots of freedom, you know, a new [00:11:00] beginning. A new beginning when I moved to Madrid. A new possibility of creating a new persona in a way.
Jonathan: That's right. And that's what I was gonna, I was gonna say, because it is intoxicating, right?
You're, you're finding your power as a human being, as a woman. You are, you're finding success. People are responding to that success. You're independent. You know that, that is exhilarating.
Monica: Yes. It was
Jonathan: at that age.
Monica: Yeah. It was an amazing time. An amazing time. A bit crazy also like very responsible at work, but at the same time, very crazy outside of work and, and, uh, having lada loca a little bit.
Yeah,
Jonathan: yeah. You know, it's, yeah. It's so interesting because our identities work until they don't.
jonathan-_1_08-29-2025_090543: and,
Jonathan: for some people their identities last a lifetime.
Monica: I I love that. Yeah. Our identities work until they don't, and yeah, that's the process of living life in [00:12:00] reality, because it's not that these identities better than the other one.
No. They work, they're in alignment with what's meant at that moment until they don't. And, uh, these, they don't work any longer, is not something like bad, but rather a sign of evolution, you know, for these soul and these body mind to, to keep living to the fullest of, uh, its, uh, capacity and alignment and resonance in the moment.
And identities keep shifting. Yes.
Jonathan: Yeah. But what's interesting is that for some people, uh, an identity can, can break or it cannot work, but they fall further into that forms a new identity. I'm broken, or you know, I, you know, I am, I'm not, I'm not good. I'm not good enough. You know, and they stay in that, and, and, and people take, people take their lives.
They get in, they, they become drug addicts. They become alcoholics as a result of that. So I [00:13:00] know folks that are listening to this are on some sort of journey because they woke up and, and sort of something inside of them compelled them to start redefining who they are to start tapping into something deeper.
But not everybody does have that o opportunity for whatever reason.
Monica: Yeah, that's true. That's true. And I've, I've had those feelings of I'm broken, uh, I'm worthless, I'm helpless at moments in my life, you know, but as you say, they, in my case, they were used as, uh, opportunities to go deeper and to connect to what wants to happen here.
You know, if this was a gateway into something better, what could that be? And I've had that privilege truly of, uh, taking the challenges. I, I, uh, usually say a [00:14:00] challenge is a gift in disguise, and I really leave it that way. And, um, while I want to send a message of, of, uh, hope in that, in that sense to whoever might be facing, um.
A very down moment of, uh, powerlessness and, uh, helplessness and
to stay in it, to stay. And through that conscious staying opening up to want what wants to happen. If life was good, if life was benevolent, what can this be an opportunity for? If I really lean on it?
Yeah. I truly believe that. Well, but I, I, I, I can talk about my experience. I don't want [00:15:00] to be preaching anything truly because I feel utmost respect for anyone's, uh, experience in life. Yeah.
Jonathan: Well, speaking of your experience, where, where and how and why did the Superwoman identity start breaking down?
Monica: Well, I think it has been breaking down forever, but, um, there was a moment, uh, very special moment in my, in my life when I was 30 that I had an anxiety crisis.
I was being the super executive and the, uh, super wife, woman, and I wanted to become a mom and I couldn't get pregnant. And, uh, that was, uh, yeah, that was a kind of an existential crisis for me because there was one box that I couldn't, uh, check [00:16:00] and that connected me with, um, very uh. Very transcendental questions.
Who am I? What, what is this for? You know, this life for, uh, what's the meaning of life? What am I pursuing? Kind of, uh, getting out of an autopilot script and programming That was very unconscious. Very, yeah. It was, it was very unconscious. Driving me to, to having those questions, those big questions, rising within and, and questioning, yeah, why am I here?
You know, who am I, what is this for? And, uh, that anxiety crisis. Allowed me to stop. I was given a leave of absence that was, uh, truly humiliating for my ego at the moment, but [00:17:00] was, uh, kind of a blessing to my soul because it was an opening, a turning point into something, some new reality from the being focused on the outside, you know, outside world to coming back inside.
Yeah. Or to coming inside for the first time in my life really, because I wasn't aware of being in that inner connection before. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And that happened when I was 30. I couldn't become pregnant. And then that started a, a journey also into pregnancy, uh, like again. Having the, the idea inside of, I'll be happy when I become a mom.
You know, like the becoming a mom, being something from outside to fulfill these, uh, persona, [00:18:00] um, rather than I, I mean in that, in that sense, my son was a prop, you know, used to, to fulfill the inner needs here. And so yeah, that was after four years I was able to become a mom. But I, I was a very different mom after those four years than I would've been four years prior because four years prior it would've been just a check.
Yeah. And, uh, at that moment it was after. After questioning a lot of things inside, you know, why do I want to become a mom? Can I be happy if, if I'm not a mom? Where does happiness come from? And, and when I chose that shortcut of, okay, because the, the different, uh, how do you call it? Uh, FIV, uh, processes,
Jonathan: I-V-F-I-V-F-I-I-V-F,
Monica: uh, processes have been, had been [00:19:00] failing.
And so I, I, I remember sitting and, um, with myself and, and, and connecting to where I'm, I'm choosing to be happy no matter, yeah, I'm choosing to be happy no matter. And if. For whatever reason, I'm meant to be a mom. I'll be happy as a mom, but if not, I am happy. And I, I decided to give away clothes that I had from my, um, sister-in-law for my future kids and so on.
I gave them away for other children to benefit from. And, uh, kind of I, that giving it away was kind of letting go, releasing that, um, expectation from me or, or that condition to life to be happy. And once I let go of that and I was being happy, no matter. I got pregnant.
jonathan-_1_08-29-2025_090543: Incredible,
Jonathan: Incredible. Incredible.
Monica: And, [00:20:00] uh, and my son was a, a miracle, you know, a blessing, um,
Jonathan: at a prop, not
Monica: a
jonathan-_1_08-29-2025_090543: a prop.
Monica: innocent prop. An innocent mother. I mean, I don't wanna blame anyone. I mean, I, no, but we
Jonathan: get it, you know, it, it, it, and, and we unknowingly do these things, you know, we, we accumulate, you know, human beings as Yeah. As props, even even a partner. And, you know, they become props in our sort, in our, in our story, you know,
Monica: in our story.
Yeah. Everything is a prop in order to fulfill these, uh, lacking persona. That's right. And, uh, yeah,
Jonathan: yeah,
Monica: yeah. But it's, it's, the game is like that.
Jonathan: The game is like that. And speaking of the game, uh, you know, the point that folks start awakening. Is the point where these deeper questions start emerging because that, that is the shattering of the, the, the, the [00:21:00] opening of the veil, you know, and looking within that which we hadn't seen beyond these personas.
Beyond these identities. Yeah. And those are the portals that started inviting us into these deeper insights, these deeper understandings, which is not easy, you know, once you start asking these questions, because everything that we've ever come to know about ourselves is propped up by that identity.
Monica: Absolutely. Absolutely. It's not easy at all. And as you say, these can become portals or they can into a more aligned with truth life. I would say more expansive life or portals into what you were mentioning before. I am helpless, I am a victim. Look, uh, how bad life is treating me. And, and, and so yeah, these are portals and it's not easy to stay there, but at the same time, [00:22:00] yeah, it cracks us open to, to a better potentiality that is there.
Yeah.
jonathan-_1_08-29-2025_090543: Yeah.
Jonathan: Yeah.
Monica: It's always, yeah,
Jonathan: it is always. So you were already awakening, you were already sort of coming into deeper insights into yourself, and then motherhood came. How, how did motherhood change you?
Monica: Um, as I said, it was the biggest miracle, but it changed me. If I have to choose one thing, that would be, it taught me what unconditional love is, what unconditional love is. My son has been to me, the teacher for that because yeah, it goes beyond the doing the behaviors, the whatever. There's that oneness or that union or that, [00:23:00] um, unconditionality truly that, uh, I feel with him and that I have been able to expand to others, you know?
Out of this, experiencing that in myself. Many times when I don't feel that way with someone, I ask myself, what if that someone was my son? You know, how would I behave differently? What words would arise if that was so, so that unconditional love is, uh, yeah, something that, uh, nurtures me and informs my life.
Jonathan: Hmm. How did your relationship to work change afterwards?
Monica: It wasn't that important anymore, um, because work had been kind of a sense, uh, something where I can, I could, uh, draw my [00:24:00] sense of value and power. Um, and it wasn't that important anymore. It had lost gravity, although work for me is, is still something, um, important, but not as something that defines me, but as a way more and more of expressing in the world.
You know, so, so rather than being something in which I have to, to fulfill the expectations, what's expected of me and so on, it's more of, um, what, what did I come for in this world? You know, kind of that sense of purpose of uniting vocation and gifts, uh, natural gifts with what the world, uh, might be needing.
So, so that channeling that into more of an expression and, um, [00:25:00] yeah,
Jonathan: yeah. Moving from Janet Berg's Power by Achievement stage three. You moved into some power by reflection when you started to do the personal work.
Monica: Yes.
Jonathan: You came out the other end. Power by purpose.
Monica: Yeah. Power by purpose, by alignment, by purpose, yeah.
Jonathan: Yeah. Yeah. It's very, yeah.
Monica: And, and it's, it's a purpose that doesn't come from an intellectual work.
Jonathan: Right.
Monica: You know, but rather from an inner calling, it's more of an inner vocation.
Jonathan: Yeah. Yeah. Speaking to the previous stage of power, by reflection, you started to do some personal development work. You started to get more involved in that world.
What, what were some of the early, uh, courses, books, avenues that, you know, healing modalities that you began to explore?
Monica: Well in the, with the crisis when I was 13 with the anxiety crisis, um, I started to [00:26:00] read self, self-help, uh, books such as, uh, Louis Hay, you Can Heal Your Life, the Power Of Now, many books like that.
I, I, I was devouring them. And, um, and I also join, um, after motherhood, uh, lots of, uh, family constellations work to, to kind of heal the wounds, uh, that are coming from our ancestors and all these patterns of belief that, uh, that are in our DNA in a way. We, um, I heard once that, uh, rather than, uh, blood lines, we have thought lines, you know, and, uh, yeah, those belief systems that we have inherited.
So I was, I was really very, very, um, like seeking. About human experience. How does this happen? How do we end up being the way we are? [00:27:00] What causes it? What creates it? And so family constellations coaching NLP, uh, counseling. I don't know. It was, it became my hobby really. And I wasn't doing it in order to, to work as that in the future, but rather because, because, uh, I was feeling that calling, you know, to nurture myself and to, to experience other realities more, uh, stemming from the inside, you know?
Jonathan: Hmm. So you started to do this work before your son, son came into this world. And I'm curious because you both learned it from your mom, but also you had that tendency towards perfectionism, towards being the superwoman. Did you notice I. Inklings of that sort of perfectionism, the way that your mom mothered you, did you notice any inklings of that with your son, or do you feel that you started to become aware of those patterns and were able to heal them in time?
Monica: Well, of course I noticed them [00:28:00] with my, with my son. The thing is that I was much more aware. You know, I, I was aware of my behaviors and, uh, I could correct them, but of course not all of them I was, uh, I, uh, and, uh, I have come to. To forgive my mother because I understood her. You know, she was doing her best.
Same as I was doing my best, because you understand that, or I understood that when I became a parent myself, it's very easy to, no, my mom should have done that, my dad should have done that and so on. But when you are there and you are acting, uh, there, um, you see that there are unconscious patterns that are, uh, arising and, uh, and you see them, it's like, okay, okay, look at this.
What's, uh, but it, it's seen and it can be [00:29:00] allowed forgiven and, uh, corrected eventually just for the fact of being aware of it. You know, there are other choices once one is aware Yeah.
jonathan-_1_08-29-2025_090543: Yeah.
Monica: Of what comes out naturally on autopilot.
Jonathan: Yeah, yeah. There's patterns that are just deeply ingrained that honestly they, we wouldn't even know they're there until we're confronted with the very thing that Yes.
Reveal them. So yes, first,
Monica: yes. Yeah. This is why I love, it's a partnership with life, you know, because, because life is sending you the things that you're ready to see and to, and to heal or to let go of or to forgive yourself and others. And, and yeah, enter more of a more compassionate life, you know, more, um, acknowledging the innocence and, um, [00:30:00] the innocence.
In all of, all of us. We're all doing our best given the level of awareness we're in and giving the beliefs that we're believing in the moment. And unless we're confronted with them, we cannot change anything because they run on autopilot.
Jonathan: Yeah. Yeah. Giving ourselves and those around us. Grace.
Monica: Grace, yes.
Grace. Yeah. Yeah. And giving a more graceful life towards ourselves, towards others.
Jonathan: Yeah.
Monica: Yeah, yeah. Absolutely. Hmm. Yeah.
Jonathan: What made you finally quit p and g?
Monica: It was a natural, I would say, a natural unfolding, but what made me, uh, quit was after having been in this [00:31:00] arena of self-development. I had hired a coach myself to look into my own patterns and so on.
Um, there was a p and g bought Gillette, and there was the opportunity for p and Gs to live with an exit package. And the GM was my friend at the time, and he asked me, Monica, if there was something like this, would you like to get it? And I said, wow, A lottery. A lottery? And I said, yeah, of course. That was, uh, amazing because I could exit p and g from a good place.
Like, uh, very, very grateful to the experience and, uh, and, uh, yeah, kind of a natural closure and, uh, start a new life more as a mom, as a coach, as a very organically, very organically, because I didn't have the need to work for money, [00:32:00] I, I could allow myself to, to just, um, continue doing what I, or learning what I, um, was enjoying.
And little by little by attending courses and workshops and programs, I was getting to meet with people who, um. Wanted, uh, to hire me because of my experience with the corporate world and with coaching. And so I started to, to work as an executive coach and with, uh, many corporations. And, and, uh, yeah, I continued like, like that more at, uh, more flexible, uh, schedule that I was, uh, wanting, uh, for my new family life with my kid.
So that was what happened. I think, uh, it got closed or, or it was, that relationship was ended very, very naturally and with, uh, like a peaceful, uh, in a peaceful way. [00:33:00] And celebratory way also, because if had I left, uh, two or three years prior when I had kind of a crisis there, another crisis there with one of my bosses, which was just the excuse to, to again, confront what was inside of me.
But it had I left there, I, it wouldn't have been so, it would've been like escaping more of an escaping, you know, like, uh, I, I don't want to be here anymore and I'm escaping and I don't have any, um, buffer or anything. But at the moment it happened. It was like, perfect, perfect.
Jonathan: Mm-hmm.
Monica: Yeah.
Jonathan: Yeah. So at this stage in your life, the, the following, the falling away of the old and the coming of the new are happening simultaneously and a few years later, your, your marriage also begins to fall apart.
And eventually my
Monica: marriage also began to fall apart naturally. Yeah, I would say [00:34:00] there's still a lot of love between both of us. Um, but that shift in me that shifted me towards a, a new, a new life, a new set of values, I would say that was, uh, happening naturally. It wasn't enforced if it wasn't AC company by, by a similar change in him.
What happened is that eventually our paths got very distanced and what we were valuing was different. In a way. The resonance there was not that, that much there anymore. And, uh, yeah, that was also, I, I, I would say that that was the toughest call for me so far more than p and g or anything because again, it was the, the breaking up or the of the family setup.
And I had to confront [00:35:00] many beliefs and, and pains and, you know, what do I want to give my son? Do I want to give him like, um, something that is kind of, um, from a societal point of view better in my, in my, uh, worldview, I would say like better like the happy family picture and so on. And we can continue because my husband and I had had another crisis and, but we chose to continue together and for the sake of the family.
Uh, but at that moment, what the answer in me was, no, I want to give him the possibility of being true
or level. You know, um, honest to, to himself authentic, [00:36:00] regardless of what the expectations of society are, you know, and, um, to, to connect to, to his heart and to what is truly important in there. And, and to me it was, it was that, Hmm. So that was a, a big one that I had took time to process because, because we, we got divorced quite, uh, rapidly once we talked about it, but then the processing of it was.
After the fact. Mm. There's some people who get divorced after having processed a lot. Mm-hmm. I, I hadn't processed a lot. I had to digest it later on because becau, because we were good together. You know, we were good friends and, uh, nothing terrible was happening. It was more [00:37:00] of a, well, I would say now, like different, uh, life paths.
Jonathan: Yeah. Yeah, it makes sense. I mean, you started to shake up the foundation of who you were and, and what your, you know, orientation was and what you were identifying with, and he wasn't, he was just continuing on in the same path. So it makes sense that there is gonna be a change, a shift in the relationship because your relationship to your own self is evolving and changing.
So imagine.
Monica: Yeah. Yeah. And in, in, in a way, yeah, once that relationship, that inner relationship is changing and that program is changing inside, also the expression outside might change, has many chances to be changing. So, so yeah, that's what happens. And now I can talk about it with a lot of love and, uh, like, uh, seeing that it was for the greater good of all involved and, you know, and, but at the [00:38:00] moment it was like, wow, I was having so many feelings of, uh, guilt of, uh, uh, yeah, not, not being up to the situation, um, guilt towards, uh, my son.
So that was tough. Yeah. And it connected me to the Course in Miracles. And, um, and I was, uh, yeah, also like going there, you know, like going beyond the story, beyond the patterns to what we truly are in essence, you know, to that connection to God, to spirit, to, uh, I even had a meditation with the three souls of, of ours, uh, laughing from the backstage, you know, at the play of life, like helping each other, uh, grow in what we were meant to, to, to experience in this, in this life, you know?
But, [00:39:00] uh, yeah, there were moments of, uh, also lots of gravity. Oh, yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. It was difficult. It was difficult. Yeah. Hmm.
Jonathan: It's incredible, right? Because life is for those of us that are oriented in this path of awakening, again, for whatever reason, why, why you, why me, why others and not others? You know?
It's just, there's, there's like, we're, we're like these little popcorns of awareness that decide to pop after a certain amount of pressure has been inserted upon us. And, and it's interesting in that way. But once we wake up, as we were talking about before this call, everything becomes an opportunity to further wake up, to further refine,
Monica: to further.
jonathan-_1_08-29-2025_090543: words.
Monica: Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. And everything becomes an opportunity to further wake up, to further expand that experience of alignment with, uh, [00:40:00] with the truth of who we truly are. Yeah. You know, that is, in my, in my words, I would say it's more impersonal. It comes a point where it's more impersonal, it's more universal, and it's, um, I wouldn't feel that heavyweight now, you know, I see myself much more as an instrument of the whole, not so much as a decider or a chooser or a doer, you know, but, but part of, um, I.
Like the hand of something bigger, you know, or the head of something bigger or the heart of something bigger. But, uh, something bigger and all encompassing. I mean, it's not just bigger than me. It's like, it, it en, it encompasses it all, everyone and everything. So more of a [00:41:00] feeling of awareness of, uh, of uh, yeah, you were saying like, uh, pieces of awareness or fractals of awareness of the same hole, you know, playing the game of life as best as we can because, because we're innocent.
We, we didn't choose our beliefs when we were kids. You know, they were kind of implanted or we were like sponges, like, uh, soaking them saying yes to them, but very unconsciously. So who is there to blame? Right. You know? And, and so, and, and the actions and the behaviors are stemming from those beliefs that we didn't have a voice in.
So, so in the end it's like, okay, everyone is innocent, you know? And every, everyone, and, and when we talk before about the game, no. The more I, I see it as a game cosmic joke, [00:42:00] or the game of God playing with the contrasts in duality, you know? Yeah. So that we, we have that experience of the good and the bad, the light and the shadow, the happiness and the sadness, and the, which is fun.
When you can leave it from that place of, wow, we're playing. You know,
jonathan-_1_08-29-2025_090543: I'm, I'm also, I'm also
Jonathan: I, I'm also, I'm also laughing because it then life goes, okay, let's see. You're really, you're really, you're playing this game. Okay, now let me take 85% of your income streams. Like, how do,
jonathan-_1_08-29-2025_090543: to,
Jonathan: because it's still a fun game.
jonathan-_1_08-29-2025_090543: are you still having fun?
Monica: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's, uh, yeah, depending, de depending of the, of the vantage point of every moment, you know, uh, everything [00:43:00] can, can be there. Yeah.
Jonathan: Yeah. So
jonathan-_1_08-29-2025_090543: Can
Jonathan: tell us a little more of that lived experience of that happening and, and how you showed up in that moment?
Monica: when I was, uh, 50. Yeah. Because I got divorced at the beginning of my forties and then, uh, I was consolidating my new business, my new career, motherhood, and I reached another point at 50, the 85% of my income out, uh, my new partner out, my son. Studying in the states out mother who acting motherhood out turning 50.
Yeah. Which is like, uh, an important to, to me it was an important age, you know, like you are getting old and, uh, so a moment of, okay, even my first hu husband saw, saw me at the, at the, at the time and, and he told me, wow, I've learned [00:44:00] about all of your happenings. Look at you and at your age he's like, okay, that's what I needed.
You know, he's like, okay, what I was
Jonathan: the final straw.
Monica: What else can happen now to make it even worse? You know? Yeah. And, um, and so, yeah. That was a moment of, again, cocooning and being with it all. Um, and instead of following many voices who were telling me, Monica, but you need to knock on doors and do, do this and do that, go for, for your, your income.
For a i I was having a very, very deeply felt sense of, uh, Monica, you need to rest. You need to rest. This is another potential opening for something and, uh, you need to rest, contemplate, connect, let the new unfold. I had a very, very clear sensing [00:45:00] of, of that. So I said, okay, I'm going to give myself some rest.
And sometimes when I go there, I put some deadlines, you know, so that it doesn't become very crazy like, okay, I'm going to give me, uh, one year or, or whatever, you know. Um. And I did, and this is when I met, uh, Leon and when I, uh, started to go even deeper into, into the coaching world, um, because to me what we're doing at the center is, is coaching is the excuse, you know, it can, it's more of a transformational living.
And through coaching, through this kind of coaching, you can really create the conditions for people to connect to what is always there. Always there potentially. And to shift from that sense of more of a psychological identity, [00:46:00] more of a being identity. That then he is tainted by the, by the personality, but not the other way around, you know?
And, uh, and that to me, uh, at that moment I was already an MCC coach by the ICF, but I met with Leon and I, and I didn't know whether to have mentoring with him or, or go for the course. And in the end, after a conversation, I went for the course. And it was again, another, another path of, of truth for me and of, um,
allowing the, the S strip in a way, you know, again, of those layers of beliefs and connecting to, to what's truly our being, I would say our core identity. Which to me, again, it's more impersonal, more universal, and then it takes [00:47:00] the colors, the, the bright colors of your gifts and your personality. But it, uh, it's, it's stemming from that place that doesn't need to prove, to show, to, to follow any expectations, but rather follow its inner guidance.
Yeah. And from there, bring, um, bring expression to the world and, and work and everything, but very, very aligned. And that was a blessing to me. On top of that. I had an extra 40,000 Euros, um, because of some stock options that I had forgotten about. And, uh, and my and my ex-husband, uh, called me one day and told me, Monica, do you remember about this?
And I said, no. But that's great news. Yeah. So, so, yeah. Uh, that was even better for me. I took, uh, [00:48:00] I took the opportunity of, uh, traveling to the states to, to pick up my, my son. And we traveled, um, from San Francisco to San Diego and, uh, Vegas. We did an amazing trip together. Yeah. And, um, yeah, it was the opening for a new, well, an opening.
Yeah. Or more expensive, I would say, because, uh, when the first did the first opening start, you know, so it kept expanding more, more towards the core, you know. But the, the light and the, and the, the freedom, the, the spontaneity, the, the resonance to the heart are stronger and stronger and stronger. Yeah.
jonathan-_1_08-29-2025_090543: There
Jonathan: are every
Monica: step of the way,
Jonathan: every step of the way. There are so many important points that I wanna. Sort of slow down into here because what, what I appreciate and love so much about these conversations,
jonathan-_1_08-29-2025_090543: is.
Jonathan: [00:49:00] what I recognize in my own story, what I listen out for, even for people that are not on the path, is that when we're really paying attention and we're really trusting life and the unfolding of life, life is really unfolding for us and life is happening for us, not to us.
And it is so easy for us in moments of crisis, like losing 85% of our income to go into crisis, to to go up into our mind, to listen to the amygdala that is activated and to then react from that place. Yes. But there I have known this to be true because I, my analogy has been. Uh, several times in my life I have felt like I'm in this car going 90 miles an hour with the brakes out, heading straight to a cliff, you know?
So imagine that feeling. Yeah. And so, but it, but every single time, every single time there's been pavement on the other side. Yeah. And what I've come to know and [00:50:00] trust, and I, I really no longer my nervous system truly no longer reacts to those moments if there's bad news, quote unquote bad news. If there's, you know, some unfortunate thing that happens, you know, I'm like, okay, okay.
I am sitting with it. What's next? What's life asking for me? I slow down, I listen. Yeah. Yeah. And every single time there's pavement. There's more road.
Monica: Road. Yeah. Every single time there is pavement. And even if, in my case, for instance, my nervous system can be affected, sometimes, you know, like
jonathan-_1_08-29-2025_090543: Naturally.
Monica: ly natural, the, the, the first, uh, reaction is kind of unconscious.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then, then it can be lived as an invitation. Okay. There's more for you, as you were saying. No. Instead of to you as a victim. There's more for you, for your growth, for your expansion, for your expression. There's a new [00:51:00] opportunity here to, to get rid of some falsities that you are believing in or, and to anchor more into, into what I call truth, which to me is that sense of your health.
There's pavement all along.
Jonathan: Yes. There's ground. Yes, there's
Monica: ground,
Jonathan: yes,
Monica: there's ground. Yeah. Yeah.
Jonathan: That's why I love the phrase ground of being, because if we really are grounded in being, you know, we, we are supported, we are supported,
Monica: we are support. I mean, we're, we're it Yeah. Being, is it, you know, to me it's, it's, yeah.
And, and every sense of losing it can be an invitation to
reposition ourselves there, you know, because it's not outside of ourselves. Yeah. It just [00:52:00] hidden by some made up story nightmare in the moment that we're believing that is affecting all our nervous system, our physicality and everything in the moment. But once you connect underneath that drama, that story, there's, okay.
Are you the one who's suffering? Or are you the one aware of the one who's suffering? Yeah. Are you being the awareness of it, like more of that witnessing neutrality and little by little reconnecting to that, um, ground of being, allowing the drama, the even smiling at it many times, you know, and also thanking it.
It's totally, you know, totally. Thank you. Thank you for showing me that. I was like, heading [00:53:00] again towards the direction of, uh, the good things are going to come from achieving certain results or from these external things. Thank you for redirecting me inside towards the, the happiness and the wellbeing that is ever present.
And from there, go back outside to relate to the whatever issue if it's still there.
Jonathan: Yeah. Yeah. It's so true. It's so true. You know, and, and there's, um. There's an an a story, and, and I first heard it through Muji, actually it, the story of the King, and I'm not, I I, I think I tried to say it in another, um, episode, but it's basically the king that has a son, that something happens to his son.
And, and the, the, the assistant is like, oh my God, you know, this is horrible. This is horrible. And, and the king always said this, wise King always said, yeah, maybe, maybe, you know, he, the horses left [00:54:00] and he is like, horrible, horrible. Maybe, maybe. And then as a result, the sun left to go get the horses. Oh, this is horrible, horrible.
Maybe, maybe the sun breaks his leg, you know, this is horrible. Maybe the, the, the, somebody comes announcing that there's war and we need all your best men. And now the sun can't go, you know, this is great. This is great. Maybe, maybe, you know, so it's, it's this idea that life is unfolding and we, we, we associate or we assign it good or bad.
Monica: Yes, yes, yes.
Jonathan: And there's a much bigger. Unfolding that's happening beyond what our little minds can comprehend.
Monica: Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. Can
Jonathan: we trust that? Can we tap into that? Can be, can we be with that? You know?
Monica: Yeah. Can we, that that's the way for me. Can we trust that? Can we be with that some, sometimes I say that life is giving us new experiences so as to, to show us where, [00:55:00] what parts in ourselves and in others and in life.
We're still not loving, we're still not open to, and they can come as an, as an inner challenge or, or something from a situation. Yeah. Outside situation or whatever, but opportunities to wake up more of who we truly are and to, to that unconditional love to me. Yeah. It's kinda, I. Can I love that? Can I love the sadness?
Can I lean onto that? Can I, can I love this trigger in the nervous system in a moment. Um, rather than trying to get rid of it, you know, can I connect to it
jonathan-_1_08-29-2025_090543: Yes.
Monica: and, um, let it inform me? Because the more we're open to any kind of experience, the more we can know with capital K [00:56:00] that nothing real can be hurt, you know?
And threatened. So we, we become more, bigger and bigger containers of anything in life for ourselves and also for our clients. You know, if a client comes with, uh, sadness, deep sadness or deep anger, we can hold space for them and we can be with that trusting that this is a gateway that we don't need to fix anything, that we don't need to, to try and, and calm down or whatever.
But we can meet them there and, and do the right with, with them so that it gets really transmuted, you know, uh,
jonathan-_1_08-29-2025_090543: Yeah. Yeah.
Monica: in our presence, you know, in our loving presence. Hmm.
Jonathan: Which is the essence of the work we do here at the center and that we train coaches to do for, for [00:57:00] others, is to hold that space, that container. What, what has it been like for you as, as one of our learning leaders to be the, the facilitator of that learning experience for so many people that are gonna be those vehicles for so many other people in their own lives?
Monica: Well, to me it's been an honor and a blessing and a privilege, I would say I could not be more grateful to, to these opportunity of co-creating with so many different people because not one single, um, program is the same because apart from the outline or the skeleton of the program, that is so, so well done, I would say by, by by Leon and, and the whole team.
Apart from that, apart from that outline. It's our energies co-creating, you know, the, the learning leader one and the, and each one of the participants. And, uh, [00:58:00] when so many people are single, focused towards more of who they truly are to their being, to, to their hearts intelligence and so on. It's a blessing.
It multiplied. Yeah. So, so I can, I don't have enough words to, to, to say how grateful I am because you, you need to, to kind of keep learning what you're teaching. Mm-hmm.
jonathan-_1_08-29-2025_090543: Hmm.
Monica: And so it's staying in that energy of, um, being your best, doing your best, opening up to whatever experience is there, the challenges, the blessings, every, everything, and becoming a bigger container of all human experiences, um, guided by the wholeness, by spirit, by [00:59:00] the all-encompassing energy of of love.
Yeah. Yeah, I would say
Jonathan: gorgeous. Gorgeous. Hmm.
Monica: What?
Jonathan: What is it like, so you are also, in addition to being the learning leader, you're also building out the DCI Spanish division? Yes. For the Spanish speaking world. So entering Spanish speaking markets, and that is a whole. Different beasts, you know, to obviously the learning leader role, but, but also to, to building your own private practice.
It's a completely different, you know, set of skills, set of understanding, set of challenges.
jonathan-_1_08-29-2025_090543: can,
Monica: Absolutely. I need a new persona, a new identity, a new
Jonathan: one's emerging,
Monica: something new, a new one is emerging really with, with this one, because yeah, it's, it's truly not just the, the, the teaching part or the facilitating part, but the so many things, you becoming an entrepreneur, [01:00:00] conscious entrepreneur and applying all this, that I know to those triggering moments of the, oh my God, oh my God, I, since it's a new territory, I, I, uh, I, I have moments of.
Being freaked out or, or being like, I let go of this, you know? But then again, it's, it's connecting at a deeper level and, and really asking myself the question very honestly. Monica, what is it that you truly want? Hmm. You know. And, and I, I love this work so much that what I truly want is that, so I, I con I continue from that place of, this is for me, I, I, um, I was born for this.
I was born to share this, this possibility with the world in English and in Spanish. Yeah. And I, and I, uh, continue. And I also take all the [01:01:00] external challenges as invitations into the, what's truly true here? What's the possibility here? How do you want to, to stretch your express, uh, expression in the world?
Your, your persona. Um, who do you need to be? Who do you choose to be here in connection to that? This is for me, you know, so it's much more powerful than from a place of, oh, I can't, which I also have.
jonathan-_1_08-29-2025_090543: So
Jonathan: it's the ups and downs of the entrepreneurial journey. I recognize that deeply. And it's, and it's not easy.
And, and that's where we really need to remain grounded in being, because the, yeah. Mind wants to control and take over it and, and, and get some sort of assurance that I'm gonna be okay, everything's gonna be okay. It's all gonna work out. And, and the entrepreneurial journey never gives you that assurance, per se.
It takes a while.
Monica: Yeah. But this is why I'm gonna be [01:02:00] okay, because I'm grounded in being, know. That's right. And even if I'm under a bridge eventually, because I, I sometimes I, I've gone there, you know, like under a bridge and with no one, and, uh. If I'm in this presence, everything is okay. You know? And from there I go back and yeah,
Jonathan: that analogy brings me back to, I remember saying to one of my best friends when I was really deeply immersed in this journey and really truly living the surrender experiment myself in my own life.
I was telling him, I'm like, I, I just know. I, I don't know where this is heading. I just know I need to keep trusting. And even if it leads me to under a bridge, I'm gonna be perfectly okay. I, I'll be the happiest, most joyful person, you know, giving love under that bridge.
Monica: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So we relate in that as well.
Maybe we meet under a bridge. You and you and Florida and me in here in Spain.
jonathan-_1_08-29-2025_090543: Well,
Jonathan: Well, cheers. We'll cheers. The internet [01:03:00] with
Monica: free internet that is all over the world. You're not fun. How's your bridge? We'll,
Jonathan: we'll start, we'll, we'll start hosting classes under a bridge and, and build from scratch.
Monica: Yeah.
Yeah. And build from scratch because that creative force is, is going through us, uh, under a bridge or at any point, you know? Yeah. So it's like, okay, I'm here now, no matter if there's under a bridge or not, but what wants to unfold through me? Hmm. And this, to me, is the greatest of the blessings because once you, you are like taking decisions from there.
Jonathan: Yeah.
Monica: Yeah. One step towards it, it makes three 100 steps towards you, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like the universe conspires.
Jonathan: It does, and, and, and this journey is so much, and it's difficult to do this, but it's so much about surrendering our personal will for the [01:04:00] greater will.
Monica: Oh, I love that. And I say it in Spanish lots of the times, like,
jonathan-_1_08-29-2025_090543: Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Monica: may your, your will die, will be done,
Jonathan: may will be done.
You know,
Monica: because I don't know, my, my little me doesn't know what's best. Oh, yeah. No idea. But you life or the, or the, that part in, in all of us knows. So giving it, surrendering it to it grace in grace, not like in resignation, but in grace. Yeah. In joy. Trust is, uh, wow.
jonathan-_1_08-29-2025_090543: yeah,
Monica: Yeah. Is something as well. Yeah. Yeah.
Let go. Let God
Jonathan: let go and let God,
Monica: the God in us, the one that is not conditioned by the fear and the, and the, the program of protection and defense and separation,
Jonathan: right?
Monica: Yeah. Hmm.
Jonathan: [01:05:00] Monica, if you can leave listeners with one invitation, something to reflect on our practice in their own transformational journeys, what might that be?
Monica: Trust yourselves. Trust your path. Trust it all. Trust is the one that comes,
jonathan-_1_08-29-2025_090543: Yeah.
Monica: like, open yourself to, to move beyond your fears.
Mm. Like the, the one I said before, you know, like, uh, any challenge is a gift in disguise. It's for us, not to us. Mm-hmm.
jonathan-_1_08-29-2025_090543: Hmm.
Monica: And life is very amazing, very thrilling, because it's not that the lows are not going to, to keep happening, but uh, they're happening from that [01:06:00] other place, you know, like this game game. And sometimes we win, sometimes we lose. But who we truly are is not at stake. And, and we're grounded. We're held, we're supported.
At every single moment.
Jonathan: Yes, yes. The true irony in life is that you surrendered that superwoman persona went on your path and in your journey. And I would say you are without the identity of, of superwoman. A superwoman in some,
jonathan-_1_08-29-2025_090543: ways.
Jonathan: you really are. And you're this incredible, incredible light, incredibly wise woman just doing such incredible work with such unconditional love.
You mentioned unconditional love. It really feels that way when you interact with me, when you interact with students, when you interact with others, that you are the embodiment of unconditional love. Oh. So
jonathan-_1_08-29-2025_090543: And so
Jonathan: I just want to thank you for who you are and how you show up for everyone.
Monica: Oh. Thank you, Jonathan.
You really touched my heart again, [01:07:00] and I'm really grateful to have you in my life and, and to be able to work with such amazing people in the center and with the students, and I feel blessed. Really feel blessed.
Jonathan: Me too. Me too. Thank you.
Monica: Thank you.
jonathan-_1_08-19-2025_171450: Thank you so much for being with us today To learn more about today's guest visit our podcast landing page at www.podcast.centerfortransformationalcoaching.com. You'll find links to their website, social media, and anything else they might wanna share there.
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